Knowing when things are going too fast in a new relationship can be challenging. You might not even realize that you’re dating someone who is potentially bad for you until it’s too late.
It’s essential to be aware of these early dating red flags: the signs that something may not be right with your partner can help save your heart and time. We will discuss 10 red flags to look out for in a new relationship. If you recognize any of these red flag signs, it may be time to end things before they get too serious.
1 – Love Bombing
Be careful of Love bombing when someone showers you with attention, affection, and gifts. It is a red flag if they are coming on too strong too fast!
Love bombing can have a powerful effect on those receiving this experience as they try to boost their target’s self-esteem with these acts of attention. Sometimes these kinds of relationships get too intense. Once the Love Bomber has you under their influence, they begin to pull away and slowly have you desperately trying to gain the same attention you had in the beginning. It is a manipulation tactic, and many inexperienced daters can fall for this trap.
2 – Controlling Behavior
If your partner is always trying to control you, or if they’re overly jealous, this is also a red flag. This behavior usually manifests in a partner that doesn’t trust you and starts questioning your every move; it’s a clear sign that they’re not ready for a healthy relationship.
Not every person that chooses you is ready for a relationship. When you see this red flag sign, it may mean they need to start doing some self-reflection and work on themselves. It is not your responsibility. Learn to say no to what you don’t want, walk away to make room for what you do want.
3 – Anger Issues
Another warning sign is if your partner is always angry or aggressive. If they’re quick to lose their temper, or if they’re constantly picking fights with you, this is definitely not good news. It is to admit, in my past relationship, I saw this behavior quite often from an ex. Instead of telling me he needed space, he would pick fights with me so that I would not want to see him. It was a manipulation tactic at best.
However, when more extreme cases with over-the-top anger and aggressiveness fall into the realm of abuse, please do not tolerate this behavior. If you need support in finding a safe way to leave, please contact the domestic violence hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).
4 – Lying
If your partner is always lying to you, or if they’re keeping secrets from you, this is definitely a red flag. A relationship starts with honesty, even when it hurts hearing the truth. Without two people being vulnerable enough to share their truths, there’s no way for the relationship to succeed. If your gut is telling you that something isn’t right with your partner, trust your intuition. If your gut has been screaming LEAVE, it may be time to walk away from the relationship before it causes more harm than good.
5 – Negativity
Another red flag to look out for is a partner who is always negative. If your partner is constantly putting you down, or if they’re always complaining about their life and not making any changes to better themselves, this is definitely not a good sign.
Most singles that stay in this type of relationship tend to fall into the rescuing trap as they may try to change their partner to be more positive or see themselves in a positive light.
If you are a half-glass full person, know that you deserve someone with the same values and perspective. They don’t have to be positive all the time, but they make an effort to change their outcomes, and when it comes to you, their goal is to love and respect you, not make you feel small.
6 – Secretive Behavior
Another bad sign is if your partner is secretive or distant. If they’re always keeping things from you or never around when you want to talk, this could be a sign that they’re hiding something.
Especially if you notice they are hiding their phone from you and texting secretively, then there may be a reason they are hiding from you. Your gut is telling you something is wrong. It probably is right.
7 – Pressuring to Have Sex
When it comes to the sex conversation in the early stages of dating, telling your partner that you want to wait is perfectly fine. Many singles feel pressured to jump in the sack because they fear losing their partner’s interest. If your partner is constantly pressuring you for sex, or if they’re being overly sexual with you and not respecting your boundaries, this is definitely a red flag.
8 – Lack of Boundaries
There will be times when you and your partner will not see eye to eye as a couple. However, you both have boundaries and needs as a person. If your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries, or if they’re trying to bulldoze you into changing your mind about your boundaries, it’s a major red flag that they will not meet your needs and respect them. It may be time to end the relationship.
9 – Favors with no Equal Reciprocation
Another red flag sign to look out for is if your partner is always demanding or asking for favors. In the beginning, it is nice to show you are interested in someone by showing acts of kindness and gifts if you start noticing that things become one-sided and you are dating a taker! This is a red flag that it may be time to walk away. You deserve someone that wants to make a mutual effort towards the relationship.
10 – Emotionally Unavailable
The first red flag to watch out for is a partner who is always unavailable. If your partner is never around when you need them, or they’re constantly making excuses not to see you, this may be a sign that they’re not invested in you.
You deserve someone mutually invested in the relationship who wants to make you a priority. When you see this behavior, your inclination may be to try harder to gain more attention, but the key is to remind yourself that you deserve to be a priority in your relationship.
If you notice any red flag behaviors, it may be time to end things before they cause more harm than good. The good news is that with more knowledge and self-awareness of habits, you can stop repeating these negative patterns showing up in your love life. I invite you to check out my Path to Love program, where I help singles break free from old habits and open their hearts to the relationship they truly deserve. I believe in you!