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You know, I’ve hinted at this a lot in my other articles and videos, so much so to the point where I believe it deserves its own time in the spotlight:
Sexual tension.
What is it? And why do so many women obsess over it?
Taking it one step further — can you create sexual tension with a woman out of thin air?
In my experience, the answer is “Yes.” And it all boils down to your confidence.
From the moment of approach to the time you spend together in bed, confidence should be the rails that you ride upon.
So today, I want to talk about sexual tension, sexual confidence, and how you can use both of these concepts to attract the kind of woman you want.
The Strange Link Between Your Sexual Confidence & the Sexual Tension She Craves…
Here’s my working definition of “sexual confidence”:
Sexual confidence is about embracing your healthy inhibitions and being upfront with them to the woman you’re looking to indulge your inhibitions with.
So many men choose to lock this concept away and tag it as taboo, but that’s essentially like saying you want to become a runner and then shooting yourself in the foot.
Many men allow the stigma of shame to prevent them from embracing their sexual confidence — but there are other reasons why this happens too.
And at the end of the day, if you do experience that shame… should it be a reason never to try? Hell no.
That’s where the sexual tension comes in. It’s the feeling a woman gets when she recognizes that you want her and that she might want you back.
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If you don’t have any sexual confidence, then women will never be able to recognize your sexual desire for her — and so the sexual tension she needs isn’t going to be there.
What can you do about it?
If you’re reading this right now, then I know you want to become the best you can be in the game of sex and relationships.
So together, with my friend and model Julia, we’re going to help you unlock your sexual confidence and create sexual tension with the next woman you want.
When Being A “Nice Guy” Goes All Wrong…
What I notice about a lot of men looking to make some kind of connection with a woman — usually sexually — is that they want to smother her with attention.
A lot of guys barrage women with compliments, thinking that this is an attractive thing to do.
However, put yourself in that situation, but from the woman’s perspective.
While every woman enjoys a well-placed compliment, to be bombarded with them is almost worse than being insulted.
It’s annoying and… here’s a word we’ve mentioned before… creepy.
This is the well-known mantle of “The Nice Guy” which is — to be blunt — the bottom of the barrel of sexual candidacy.
So what can you do about it?
How to Use My “Confidence Level Spectrum” to Avoid Being “The Nice Guy” Or “The Creep”
Ultimately, “Nice Guys” are fake people who aren’t willing to show their true selves.
The reason that it’s not attractive to women is because the “Nice Guy” defies what a man actually is.
I don’t mean that men aren’t kind, but I do mean that men should be of substance.
In this case, the Nice Guy is lacking in substance; he’s a fake version of himself.
Thinking that a great way to win a woman’s affection is to be a fictionalized, romantic character who — if he plays his cards right and has some patience — can get the girl… is completely off-base.
Reading that should help you realize just how ridiculous it actually is.
Continuing with an analogy, this is like deciding to rob a bank by feeding the teller compliments until she gives you a sack of money. It’s not real.
Here’s what Julia had to say about it. I think it brings this concept together nicely:
Basically, as a woman, it’s very much a turn-off when a man puts on this fake image… like ‘Oh I’m really nice. I’m really sweet. I’m really sensitive. You should f**k me because I’m really so sweet, and nice, and sensitive.’ It’s a turn-off.”
The Nice Guys are fake. They don’t represent what a person is really like.
And every man who puts on the Nice Guy act is, at the end of the day, lacking in confidence.
So imagine, if you will, a spectrum. Or a line. Whatever.
Let’s call it the “Confidence Level Spectrum.”
On the very left end of that spectrum, we have the Nice Guy and the guys who never even try to make a move.
(Note: Making a move is a lot easier if you know a girl is into you first. Look for this body language if you want to know for sure.)
This is the “Lacking in Confidence” end of the spectrum.
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It Doesn’t End There…
On the other end of that spectrum, place the meatheaded jerks who are completely unaware of their own presence.
You know the type:
The guys who grab women when they’ve been told not to…
Or the ones who spout off uncomfortable catcalls…
Go ahead and label this end of the spectrum as, “Way Too Much Confidence.”
Of course, neither one of these extremes is going to get you anywhere except blacklisted from your favorite bars.
Both are extremely creepy and detrimental to your image, even outside of your sex life.
3 Steps to Developing the Sexual Confidence Every Woman Desires
Instead, what you need to do is place yourself in between these two radical mindsets.
However, I wouldn’t call it the exact center of these two radicals.
It’s important to exude confidence, yes, but you also need to allow for her own confidence to shine.
This is how connections are formed — through comfort and through confidence.
It can even be traced back to attention levels and where you’re focusing. Where the Nice Guy focuses all of his attention outward, he’s not giving himself enough attention.
The meathead, on the other hand, only focuses attention on himself. He never thinks about the woman he’s interacting with.
Wherever you stand on the spectrum, I want you to know that you shouldn’t worry about it. Now you know — that’s the first step.
Most likely, you err more on the Nice Guy side of the spectrum. And if that’s the case, you need to start giving yourself some attention in this whole process.
Now, I’m not here trying to sound like a therapist saying, “You need to focus on you!”
But what I am saying is that you need to be aware of your needs and wants in that moment when you’re with a woman.
So with that in mind, here are 3 steps to use this knowledge to gain sexual confidence, and take charge of your interactions with women — without coming off as “creepy” or too “forward”:
1) Think About Yourself (Seriously)
Why are you reading this right now? What are you here to do?
Well, you’re here to talk to women and see if you can get lucky. Am I wrong?
When you’re out at night and trying to meet women, keep this goal in mind.
Devote a good amount of your attention inward and your goals will always be at the forefront of your mind.
Once you start doing that, that silly “shame mentality” will start to slip away, and you’ll be nowhere near Nice Guy territory ever again.
You could even describe it as “selfish” behavior — you need to put yourself first. (Just not to the extreme that you’re unaware of your own actions.)
It’s also important to make sure that she’s a priority in your mind.
We’ve talked about sexual intent in depth before — hell, we’re talking about it right now.
What is being selfish and aware of your own desires, if not sexual intent?
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One of the guiding principles of sexual intent is giving the woman you want the attention she deserves so that a connection can start to form.
Fact: Women, for the most part, need to feel like they’re building a connection with you if they’re going to consider you as a potential sexual partner.
Which brings me to step two…
2) Show Her Your Sexual Intent
The only real way to show a woman your sexual intent is to engage with her conversationally and make her feel welcome in your environment.
I won’t revisit this too much, but you should definitely check out my past videos and articles related to this subject. They’re packed with some great information.
And hey, if you think about it, when you give a woman the proper amount of attention and sexual energy, you’re still being a little selfish — but in a healthy way.
How?
You’re deciding to be sexual, so it’s like you’re telling her that your own pleasure matters. It’s something that you’re making a priority in your life.
On the idea of a man who pays the right amount of attention to himself, Julia had this to say:
That’s hot! That’s a turn on. A man who is right with himself and his pleasure while also still giving me what I want. That feels good to hear.”
Confidence has a magnetic effect on people — even out of the bedroom.
Why Does This Work So Well?
When a man emanates this feeling of being comfortable and powerful in his own skin, then women will want to be around him and experience what he has to offer.
And when this kind of confidence is translated into a sexual situation, it gives the woman he’s with a feeling of intimate connection.
(Pro Tip: One of the easiest ways to build an intimate connection with a woman is to forget your words & touch her instead. Try this on the next woman you want.)
This, of course, is established through listening to her words and by creating interesting, engaging conversations from them.
This comfortable, enjoyable environment is how a connection is created.
Like I said, women need to feel a connection with you if they’re going to consider you as a sexual partner…
And a burning confidence that gives off a sense of comfortability is one of the surefire ways you can make that happen.
As you present yourself not only physically, but verbally with confidence, then you wear your needs and wants right on your shoulder. And to a woman, that’s hot as hell.
3) Generate Sexual Tension Using These 2 Simple Words
Now that you’re feeling sexually confident, it’s time to create that sexual tension.
Feeding back into what Julia said, sexual tension is very attractive to women — it’s got that special magnetic pull to it.
Women want to see a man who says what he wants with gusto and determination. This is a man who she can be open with — he’s a man who takes control.
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And those are the two little words you need to communicate in order to generate sexual tension: “I want.” (But more on that in a second.)
So now, I want (no pun intended) to show you a newfound way to practice your confidence… but there is one thing to keep in mind:
Remember, rejection is natural. It’s growth, not a failure. This is the mindset you need to have.
With my help, your rejection rate will be much, much smaller — but you’ll still need to know that it can happen nonetheless.
Is It Really That Easy?
First, I want you to start practicing your newfound sexual confidence by using it in your everyday life.
Leave the bedroom behind for a second, and instead focus on the right now:
What do you want right now?
Is it a soda? Do you want to go for a run? Do you want to text your friends back?
Instead of thinking about the reasons not to do these minor actions, just start doing them.
If that means you have to get up and go to the fridge, then do it. (Or whatever it is you want to do.)
Over time, I realized that a man’s confidence can reach an all-time low if his confidence is never challenged in the first place.
If you’ve become complacent about certain things in your life, then, your confidence begins to gather dust.
It’s that muscle that goes un-exercised. This also explains why simple tasks are often the most difficult to complete.
So defy that feeling and do what you want — no matter how small the task is.
This is forward motion in action. Once you start moving with motivation, then you can take your practice to the street.
Until now, you’ve been thinking I want — now start saying it.
How to Use My 3-Step Plan in The Real World
Try practicing this “I want” strategy at work or while you’re out with friends:
“I want us to make our quota this month; let’s talk about ways we can make that happen.” Or…
“I want us to go out and enjoy this beautiful day instead of staying in. Who’s in?”
The key here isn’t about being rude or abrasive, but about being confident in your wants.
You want your intentions to have no faltering in the minds of those that you’re conversing with.
These two simple words — I, and want — change the structure of a sentence from floating an idea that people can easily reject… to something that people have to then use their own confidence to respond to.
This is your life. What do you want?
And once you feel confident with this concept, it’s time to use it in a sexual setting. Hey, that’s what it’s all about, right?
If you’ve been confident in your everyday life, then there’s no reason that this won’t easily translate into the connections you build with women.
Here’s an Example…
So if you’re talking to a woman and you’re feeling the good vibes, it’s time to communicate your wants.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table — just let things evolve naturally.
For example, “I want to kiss you” tends to work well for me.
Here’s another example — it’s a story of one of my readers that I love to tell for inspiration:
This guy’s routine was to approach women in a group of his own friends and begin just saying anything they could think of.
After some time, it became clear that they were more or less just trying so nobody could say that they weren’t.
They never really expressed a desire to get with women… and that wasn’t clearly apparent since they did this activity as a group.
Deciding that that wasn’t good enough for him, this guy said to the group:
“I actually want us to try and get with women tonight. I think that’s best achieved if we each approach separately.”
With this mindset, and with nobody confident enough to question him, he put this into action.
I’m sure you can fill in the blanks from there, but these days, this guy is on top of his game.
(Hell, he’s even pointed a few of his friends my way for advice! Here’s the first thing I show every guy who’s looking to get better at sex & dating.)
Won’t She Think You’re Too “Aggressive”?
This simple statement of your wants is in no way forceful — nor should you make it that way.
Again, remember that you’re building connections here, not bullying people until they submit.
Like I mentioned earlier, she might say “no” to you… but the fact that you’re confident with your intent is powerful.
This evolves from you telling her you’d like to kiss her, all the way to your desire to take her back to your place. From there, you can express your want to sleep with her.
Once again, I can always count on Julia to give useful insight into the female mind:
This goes back to truthfulness. If you’re being truthful and honest about where you’re at and what you desire, a woman will respect that and sense that.”
Julia also notes that these sorts of interactions are especially memorable — even when they end in rejection.
While this may mean you’re not always getting what you want, it also means that this woman will respect you more for being a man who’s aware and in control of his desires.
From a woman’s point of view, respecting a man is something that’s not immediately earned. Instead, it’s a prized thing that you should cherish once you have it.
In order to be really clear about your wants, it’s also important to make sure that you’re not taking this concept and giving it an inquisitive twist.
It shouldn’t be a question. “I want to kiss you…” Should never be relayed as, “Can I kiss you?”
And that’s because it doesn’t show her maximum confidence in your desires.
Instead of putting your wants first, a question shows that you’re still apprehensive of the result.
While this isn’t a surefire way to fail, it’s best to stay away from communicating your wants as a question.
Remember, this is about maximizing the potential of what you want through confidence.
Now Put It All Together…
It’s true that I can give you all the insight that my experience has to offer, but there’s one thing I can’t do.
I can’t crawl into your head and make you flip the confidence switch. You can read every article there is, but it takes your willingness to get yourself there.
The coolest thing about this whole process is that you’ll be so damn surprised at how often you’ll get exactly what you want — and not just in sexual situations. This applies to all people across the world.
But to speak on sexual situations, I can’t tell how many times this has expedited sexual connections by just simply saying, “I want [blank].”
And once you use your sexual confidence to get her on the same page… you’ll want to give her a night of amazing sex.
Sexual confidence can certainly help with this, but it won’t do the whole job for you.
Here’s what I and other experts use to prepare for a night of mindblowing sex:
If You Want to Get a Hot Girl in Bed & Chasing After You…
… then first, she has to feel DESIRED.
And if you follow the steps I’ve shown…you’ll be able to cut the sexual tension with a knife…and she’ll feel how deeply you want her.
… and 9 times out of 10, sex will happen naturally!
She won’t be able to help herself!
But here’s the thing… if you don’t want to be a “one-hit-wonder”, then you HAVE to truly satisfy her in bed.
And personally, there’s one thing I do to make sure every woman I take home is 100% satisfied with my performance EVERY TIME!
I take some 5G Male.
It’s an all-natural remedy that gets you hard quick, keeps you hard-as-steel, and oh yeah…it makes you blow much bigger loads too.
So I take one of these bad boys before a date, and it kicks my sex drive into overdrive.
I’ll get turned on with no problem, and more often than not, that sexual energy turns her on too.
Not only that, but this little herbal cocktail helps keep me rock-hard, so I can last longer… leaving her glowing, satisfied, and wanting more.
In fact, my buddies have all started taking it too, with the same results.
(They noticed that all these hot girls kept texting me to “hang out again”… so I couldn’t keep my secret to myself for too long haha.)
I first found out about 5G Male from this short, free video –- so if you’d like to satisfy women in a way that gets them obsessed with you, here’s how you can get your hands on it too:
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