A common thing single people say is that they want to meet their love match organically.
What does this mean?
They want to run into them in the street, maybe. Or catch their eye across a room. Or maybe bump into them in the break room at work. Or join a co-ed sports league with single people on their team. They want love at first sight. Sure, that happens sometimes. But it requires luck and incredible timing. And you have to be emotionally ready. Otherwise, you’ve missed your chance.
Meanwhile, you could be missing out on many other wonderful men, hoping you happen to run into Mr. Right. In fact, you can spend your life waiting and hoping you run into the person you want to spend your life with, or you can apply a process that is proven to help women develop successful relationships.
If you’re tired of waiting for a movie-perfect meet in your grocery store, here are some great numbers to back up your plan to “just meet” someone.
Besides the fact that 4 out of 5 women who took my program attracted a satisfying romantic relationship that fits their unique criteria for quality, longevity, and commitment, new research shows that 70% of Hinge users are interested in going on ‘digital dates.” Match.com has seen a 700 percent increase in users.
So, how can you get out of choice overload, magical thinking that it will just happen, or downright avoidance?
Here are three things to remember about creating meaningful connection and finding your equal partner off and online now:
- Make time to focus on what you want in the part of your life that will matter the most when you are on your deathbed. A recent study showed that as a result of the Pandemic, 57 percent of women are proactively scheduling me time in their calendars with hopes of having a better 2021. If you are not one of those women, get out your calendar and book time now to be in action of what you want. Spend 20 minutes answering emails online. Sign up for a coed virtual cooking class. Download a five minute meditation and quiet the chatter in your head so that you can take a moment to appreciate the little things that are going right in your life to create a more positive mindset.
- Focus on opening up your heart versus proving your competence. According to scientist Amy Cuddy, humans, including the men you might want to date, are evaluating a person instantly based on two things: warmth and competence. However, what might surprise you is that if you turn up your open heartedness, and demonstrate that first, the men you are interested in will experience you as more trustworthy and then assume your competence! Without letting down your guard and conveying warmth, men might just be missing out on seeing how awesome and smart and accomplished you are. When you take concrete steps to let down your guard and unwind some of the fears you have that you might get hurt or disappointed, you will amplify your attraction factor and be more likely to create a romantic connection.
- Learn how to stop bending yourself into a pretzel to be who you think that one guy wants you to be. The greater the gap between who you truly are and who you think you need to be to get him to like or love you, the more emotional, physical and mental energy you will be investing. And as a result, the emotional labor it takes to be our best self on a date then becomes so great that we lose the ability to be present. When we get self-conscious, we spend time in our head, which can be experienced as aloof or masculine or even needy. If you can’t affirm yourself to yourself and show up in a place of enthusiasm for being on the date, confident, and passionate about your life, men may sense that there isn’t chemistry and that ‘forced’ feeling you are putting out there will ultimately result in losing out on an awesome opportunity with a great man.
Bottom line? Take time to get intentional about your dating strategy this year. Identify gaps, do what it takes to close them, and take advantage of the opportunities the Pandemic has to offer.