5 Signs Someone May Be Emotionally Unavailable

5 Signs Someone May Be Emotionally Unavailable


When you’re falling for someone new, it’s natural to hope that the connection you feel is mutual and has the potential to grow into a meaningful relationship. However, sometimes the person you’re interested in may be emotionally unavailable, even if they seem to enjoy spending time with you.

In my Conscious Dating Programs, I discuss the main way to break free from attracting these emotionally unavailable types by being clear of your n0n-negotiables and making a list to screen someone against them. However, there are early signs to help you recognize to help save you from investing too much in a relationship that may ultimately leave you feeling unfulfilled and alone.

1. They avoid deep conversations.

For instance, when you try to discuss your feelings about the relationship or share a challenging experience you’ve been through, they might change the subject to something superficial like the weather or a funny meme they saw. Or they may make a joke to diffuse the emotional intensity of the conversation. If you express that you want to have a serious talk, they might claim they’re too tired or not in the right headspace, even if this happens repeatedly.

2. They send mixed signals.

One day, they might be affectionate, responsive, and make plans to see you. The next, they may be distant, take hours to reply to your messages, and cancel plans at the last minute. This inconsistency can leave you feeling like you’re on a rollercoaster, not knowing whether to expect warmth or coldness. They may give you just enough attention to keep you interested, but not enough to make you feel secure in the relationship.

3. They’re always “too busy”.

Of course, everyone has periods where work, family, or other obligations take up a lot of time. But if the person you’re dating constantly uses their busy schedule as an excuse not to see you, talk to you, or make plans together, it could be a sign of emotional unavailability. They may frequently cancel dates, not return your calls, or go days without checking in, leaving you feeling neglected and unimportant.

Did you know there are important personality traits that can help you identify whether someone is emotionally safe or not? In this video, I share seven signs that show someone is emotionally safe and worth trusting. [Article Continued Below]

4. They’re uncomfortable with emotions.

If you express sadness, frustration, or even deep joy about something, an emotionally unavailable partner may try to shut down the conversation or change the subject. They might say things like “It’s not a big deal,” “Just get over it,” or “Why are you so emotional?” when you try to share your feelings. They may also have a hard time expressing their own emotions, preferring to keep things light and avoid vulnerability.

5. They keep you at arm’s length.

Emotionally unavailable people often avoid making their romantic partner a significant part of their life. They may not invite you to important events like weddings or family gatherings, even after you’ve been dating for a while. They might not introduce you to their friends or family, or they may compartmentalize their life so that you’re not included in other aspects of it. When you try to make plans for the future, like a vacation or moving in together, they might brush off the conversation or say they’re not ready, even if your relationship has been going on for a long time. These behaviors can make you feel like an outsider in their life, rather than a close partner.

If more than a few of these signs sound familiar, I gently encourage you to reflect on whether this is the right relationship for you at this time. You cannot force someone to be more emotionally available, as much as you may care for them. Continuing to pursue a one-sided relationship will likely leave you feeling disconnected and unappreciated.

You deserve a love that meets you where you are, with openness and consistency. Don’t settle for less. Take care of your tender heart, and trust that a relationship with mutual vulnerability and emotional intimacy is possible for you. If you are struggling with dating and want to stop attracting emotionally available types. I’m here to help. Schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review here.