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Be Open-Minded
Approaching the dating world with a positive attitude and an open mind is essential. When looking to meet someone you can spend the rest of your life with, it can be all too easy to start drawing lines in the sand. It’s vital that you seek out compatible people, but the ideal person for a long term relationship may not be exactly what you’re expecting. An open and engaged attitude is essential, seeking out potential partners who share your most important values, but who otherwise might surprise you.
Don’t Go Overboard With Micromanagement
A lot of dating advice can make it seem like the best option when looking for a new relationship is to catalogue and document your every movement, to analyse body language, to ask a specific series of questions, to obsessively perfect your dating profile. It can be a natural and reassuring impulse to seek control over things that seem chaotic, but this can actually be an unhealthy mentality when it comes to genuine engagement. Thinking of things less in terms of checklists and tests, and more in terms of how you naturally feel will reduce your stress and allow you to truly engage with other people.
Meet in Person and Don’t Wait too Long
The modern world of online dating apps and social media can mean that many relationships start online, but talking over text or video is not the same as meeting in person. Relationships with other online daters that seem great when chatting over text can sometimes wither quickly in real life. While online communication can be a great way to learn about each other, meeting people face to face can show you so much more. Similarly, try not to go too far into someone’s online history before a date. Not only can it lead to insecurities about any previous relationships, it can also ruin the spark that comes from finding out about someone else through conversation.
Choose a Different Date Idea
While dinner and a movie might be a classic date idea for a reason, a great way to engage with another person is by doing something interesting together. Geographical limits may apply, but places like art galleries, botanical gardens, and aquariums can be a great way to stimulate conversation and get to know one another. Whatever you do, make sure it gives you ample time to talk. Choosing a compelling activity or location will also help you to make a memorable impression on your date, showcasing your personality to them. Standing out within the dating scene is important, and an interesting date idea or location will help separate meeting you from coffee dates and meals in others’ minds.
Be in the Moment
When you’re on a date, be on a date. Put your phone away, don’t think about work, just be in the moment. Phone communication is a big aspect of online dating sites, but it’s important to show that you’re able to hold a conversation away from a screen! Being engaged and in the moment will help you to decide what you think of your partner, and will also demonstrate to them that you care, that you are listening to them, and that you are a person they can look to for commitment.
Don’t Play Games
Being honest and upfront means offering clarity to anyone you’re seeing. Lasting relationships are built on mutual trust and clear goals, with both parties honestly engaging with each other. There’s no point being coy, and similarly, there’s no point in waiting around for commitment from someone who isn’t ready to offer it. For women and men, being upfront with people, and expecting the same in return, will save you from a lot of unnecessary pain.
Don’t Wait to Message
Romantic comedies and dating advice guides have often tried to establish the length of time you should wait to message someone after a date. While it’s probably not a great idea to barrage someone with messages, the best advice for men and women is to send a thank you text after the date. This shows both that you are engaged, and that you enjoyed their company. If looking to organize a second date, it can be wise to wait a few days, but never too long.
Ask Interesting Questions
Try not to resort to the obvious questions; Where did you grow up? What do you do? What are your hobbies? These can offer useful information about a person’s life, but won’t necessarily give you a true measure of their personality.
Questions that are more open-ended can not only drive a more compelling conversation, but they will give you a clearer impression of your dates’ personality and character. Why not try asking them about the most beautiful place they’ve ever been, or the strangest? What’s on your bucket list? Or the time period they would most like to visit? These sorts of questions will reveal more interesting aspects of your date, and help keep the conversation flowing.
Don’t Give Up
It can be disheartening going on bad dates or to find that your interests and feelings aren’t being reciprocated, but you shouldn’t let it get you down. Keeping a positive attitude, believing in yourself, and engaging with the people you meet is vital. And as we said at the beginning, the road to love is rarely easy, but it’s one that’s worth travelling.
Understanding How We Work
Maclynn International is an elite matchmaking service with offices in New York, New Jersey, California, and London. We work with single men and women across the world, using our matchmaking experience and rigorous psychological background to pair them with compatible people.
Our elite matchmakers and relationship coaches look to form life partnerships for our clients, working with them every step of the journey, and offering expert dating and relationship advice. To learn more about the benefits of our service, our dating coaches, and our exclusive members, get in touch with a member of our team today.
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