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Hi, Evan.
Most women nowadays are used to dealing with men with commitment issues. They wait for years just to realize that the guy doesn’t want to commit.
Eventually, they spend time—more than they should, actually—waiting for something that will never come.
If you’re one of the many women in a really bad relationship, you may be wondering: when should you walk away?
Make sure to read on as we talk about what you should do with a man who won’t commit.
How Long Should You Wait for a Man Who Won’t Commit?
Three years are more than enough for this waiting game.
After three years, there’s no more question left to answer. Your guy should have gotten all the information he needs to decide if he wants to get married or not.
By this point, he should be sure that he loves and adores you.
For some, this certainty is exactly what keeps him put. He’s comfortable, and he doesn’t see the need to go further.
After all, why repair something that doesn’t need fixing?
You, on the other hand, are growing more impatient. You’ve been more than an ideal woman—of course you deserve a committed relationship!
So if he’s still second-guessing at this point, then it’s a definite red flag. That said, you should take the bold step of walking away.
If he follows, then it’s a good sign. He’s finally on the same page. He’s going to commit to you because he can’t stand to lose you.
But if he doesn’t, know that it’s good for you as well.
Don’t feel guilty for packing up and leaving. It’s a form of self-love. You’ve given him the bare minimum, after all.
At the end of the three-year mark, you should seek the other person who will fulfill all your desires.
Remember: you deserve someone who’ll give you the best life.
Why Shouldn’t You Wait for a Man Who Won’t Commit?
Other women think that they should wait till he commits. What’s another year?
Well, it’s more time lost.
You could’ve taken this year to meet new people—maybe even the man of your dreams.
The ugly truth here is that you’re only delaying the inevitable.
Sure, there’s a chance you won’t break up. But will he propose? Probably not. If he didn’t before, then he still won’t.
If he keeps making excuses, you shouldn’t get swayed by them.
Most men cite work priorities as to why they want to remain uncommitted.
This shouldn’t be a big deal for him, though. No matter how busy he might be, a nice guy will find time to take things to the next level.
What Happens When You Wait for a Man Who Won’t Commit?
No one can predict the future of your relationship. What’s certain, however, is that you’ll still be on the same level—patiently waiting for marriage.
As mentioned, some men can get comfy. Some, on the other hand, will go on playing games for as long as they can.
Say that he negotiates a relationship deal with you. You move in with him but don’t get married. He thinks that it’s basically the same thing.
You think you got the upper hand when you’re actually on the losing end.
For him, this is a sign of commitment. As for you, you’re waiting for a ring that will never come.
You’re a great woman for holding on thus far. Sadly, you’re probably getting nothing out of this.
You’re missing out on your life, especially if you’re in your childbearing years.
Walking away at this very moment is vital, especially if you want to have a kid. You’re not getting any younger.
That said, you should stop chasing this guy. He obviously has other priorities, and you’re not at the top of the list.
Instead, you should look for someone ready for commitment.
What Should You Do Right Now?
Everything you do is always up to you.
If it’s okay with you to stay in the same relationship level, then, by all means, do.
However, you need to acknowledge that should all hell break loose, you are the only one to blame.
You can’t blame the guy. He did say he doesn’t want to level up.
But if you believe in marriage, you should seek out someone who thinks the same.
As such, walking away is the only solution.
If he did stop calling you after a few months, then it’s a sign. A reality check, if you will. Face the fact that he’s one of the many guys who won’t commit ever.
While you need some time to mourn over this person, it’s not the only way to let everything out.
For one, you should go out with your good friends. Have the time of your life! Do all the things you failed to do because you settled for a guy who won’t commit.
Travel. Pursue the hobby you’ve always wanted to try. Make the most out of your time.
More importantly, it’s time you started dating once again!
Don’t let your last relationship define you. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
If your busy schedule stops you from hitting the bars, worry not, you can use many dating apps as there are many dating apps you can use.
It might be a trial-and-error scenario, but it’s always good to give relationships a try.
That said, there are some things you need to do before you get into another one.
You should be upfront with the guy. Ask him if he’s open to the idea of getting married. If he’s not, then you should take it at face value. There’s no time to waste. You need to make a decision right now.
Are you willing to endure another three years of uncertainty?
If you are, then take the plunge. Maybe he deserves the opportunity. Who knows? He might change his mind.
But remember, he might change his views. Might.
Although nothing is set in stone, it’s hard to convince a man who’s not open to marriage.
If you’re unwilling to play the same waiting game, then you should go.
Take a deep breath, and say, “Thank you, next.”
You wouldn’t want to make a decision you’ll regret for the rest of your life.
It might take some time, but you’ll eventually find a man who feels the same way. Someone is willing to take the next step with you.
Final Thoughts
If you’re in a relationship with a man who won’t commit, you shouldn’t wait long before you walk away.
Three years are enough for him to make up his mind. It’s either he’s marrying you or not.
While you might want to wait a bit longer, it’s best if you didn’t. You’ll just end up wasting a few more years of your life.
Although it’s heartbreaking to leave, you need to accept that it’s the best for you. Take this time to try new hobbies and go out with friends.
More importantly, you should take this opportunity to start dating once again. Eventually, you’ll find someone who’ll pay attention to you—a man who’s proud to make you his wife.
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