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Today I want to talk about how people get to know one another.
I gave you some of the background on this before… but since a (female) client of mine asked about it, I’m going to go into more detail about what a first conversation is like.
And I’ll also show you what it could be like and what it should be like, so she always comes home with you at the end of the night.
Let’s get started!
It All Starts With Avoiding Some Surprisingly Common Mistakes (That Even Experts Are Guilty Of Making)…
This is something I am fairly certain you are familiar with.
Hackneyed conversational methods are so ingrained that as I describe the common, but incorrect conversation structure, you will probably find yourself saying:
“What’s wrong with that? I do that all the time.”
You probably do, and even if you didn’t say it, (or think it, if you are not into talking to yourself)… you are almost certainly suffering from at least a few of these faulty conversational traditions.
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A quick caveat before I start.
I’ve used the words “Hackneyed,” “incorrect” and “faulty.” Please don’t take offense.
Although I may be talking like this is the worst thing to come out of a person’s mouth since Regan MacNeil projectile vomited on the priest Damien Karras in The Exorcist, the truth is that this is the way many people talk and many conversations go.
You are hardly a monster for making any of these mistakes. Just try to avoid them, OK?
Today I’ll be pulling back the curtain to show you the big mistakes guys make when talking to women, and at the end I’ll show you how to massively improve your results (and get laid) by doing things a little differently.
1) The “What do you do?” Delay
The first thing that is 100% standard in conversations–especially in urban areas–and which would be best to avoid for the first four conversations is work.
“But I love my job!”
Avoid it.
“But I’m proud of what I do!”
Keep it to yourself.
Here’s the thing. To start with, “What do you do?” is amateur hour.
It’s a question for people who do not know what to talk about.
In fact, in general when someone asks me what I do in a conversation before we’ve reached that point where it’s obvious they are intrigued or impressed and really want to know…
I translate it to mean, “I want to talk more, but I don’t know what to say.”
What do you do? Is considered safe ground, and that’s why it’s so unavoidable in a first conversation.
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So what’s wrong with it?
Aside from simply being the mark of an amateur and the hallmark of a dull conversation,
What do you do?” is a question, and the next thing I’ll tell you is to avoid them like the plague during the first four meetings.
“What do you do?” Brings up a topic which is technically interesting–since you do it all day, and well enough to be paid for it–it’s not actually interesting though, unless someone is already interested in you.
How can I prove this to you?
What movie or TV show is there inspired by what you do every day?
What show has–as its major plot–what you do each day?
In fact, the most common plots are romance–boy meets girl and the two after not liking each other start to like each other; and who dunnit, which basically boils down to murder.
Since so many plots (most of Alfred Hitchcock, for example, who is one of the most effective storytellers) revolve around murder… then perhaps a detective or a murderer has a job that is interesting enough that people want to hear about it.
Well, as any detective–and most murderers–will tell you… even a police procedural, which is what we call shows like CSI Blah Blah or Law & Blah Blah are showing you some bits and pieces of what really happens.
But in no way is that what they see or do day-to-day.
In addition to this–and here is MY reason for telling you to avoid the topic–no matter how pleased or excited you are about what you do each day, you are not an actor. So reciting lines is not easy for you.
I’ve noticed that when a person answers a question they answer often, or when they are talking about something that is common knowledge for them, the look on their face usually gives this away by being stiff or unexpressive.
They don’t emote, they don’t spark and they don’t engage.
It’s not fresh.
Save what you do for the fourth date or so.
I know this seems very difficult, but only because you think you have to answer a question that’s asked.
I’ll tell you something else you should have already learned reading my words–doing what a woman says when she says it is not especially attractive.
2) Avoid Questions In General
Now I’ve REALLY ruined things, huh?
I’ve taken away your favorite conversational hiding place.
It’s what talkative people do to unintentionally dominate the conversation, and what introverted people do to keep moving the spotlight back to the other person.
Unfortunately, as I told you several articles ago, Questions REQUIRE rapport.
In a first conversation, what if the other person doesn’t answer your question?
What if they resent it? How do you leave them a way out?
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In order to let a conversation flow organically, please avoid questions, despite everything you’ve heard or read telling you the opposite.
Now of course you’ll ask some, and that’s ok.
It’s just that avoiding them will improve your conversations 10-fold. You basically want to ask 10% the questions that come to mind.
3) No TV
I’ve said this before, so let four words suffice.
Do NOT discuss TV.
4) Run from Rapport
By rapport I mean–and we’ve discussed this before–finding something you have in common and STICKING TO IT.
I understand how this has become the go-to conversational plan, but it does not work. And it cannot work.
It may be effective for a very good conversationalist who has a very short time–i.e. a salesman in a half hour client meeting.
In this setting there isn’t enough time to overdo a bit of, “You went to Harvard? So did my brother. What about that Glee Club, huh? Anyhow, I’m here to talk to you about rugs.”
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5) Absolutely No Religion Or Politics
I think everyone has already heard that polarizing topics are not great unless you know a person really well (and even then….).
So it’s not the most common faux pas, but I mention it because it is such a major faux pas.
Two people cannot be expected to effectively promote OR defend something which is a belief backed by time and faith in a first meeting.
In addition, these are topics that cannot be discussed in a short time, and no topic should dominate a first or second conversation–especially not a galvanizing or polarizing one.
Now, I realize I’ve basically just listed off a bunch of things you can’t talk about… so what should you do?
I’ll show you:
Beyond Conversation: 3 Simple Behaviors That Get Her in Bed Even FASTER…
All the pros will tell you, and we’ve all known about this for a long time…
Even though conversation does matter, it’s not what gets a woman in bed the quickest.
In fact what is MUCH more important, and does the REAL heavy lifting… is not what you say, but what you do.
So here are 3 subtle things you can do to get her in bed even faster than your words will alone:
1) Make the “right” kind of eye contact.
Everyone knows women like a man who can hold eye contact…
… but many times even strong “masculine” eye contact can come off weird and inorganic… because of HOW most guys do it.
Most guys look at both of a woman’s eyes at the same time.
This can cause your eyes to shift left and right, which can make you seem nervous… so instead focus on only one eye.
To the woman (or anyone really) it will look like you’re looking at both eyes… but in a more focused and genuinely interested manner.
2) Next, watch your feet.
One of the biggest subconscious indicators of interest a person can give off is pointing their feet toward the person they’re talking to.
So when you point your feet toward a woman, yes it shows you’re interested in her… BUT it also makes her feel like the prize.
And that’s the wrong dynamic to have (if you want to turn things sexual with this woman eventually).
Instead, talk to her with your feet pointed away, almost like you’re about to leave at any second…
… and when she points her feet toward you (which she WILL do)… then you know it’s time to try this:
3) Touch her a little more.
This is the final and most important step in my opinion… because sex is a physical act after all.
And if you want a woman to notice you and see you as someone she’d be interested in sleeping with… then there has to be some touching.
Because if you don’t touch her at all, then those two tips above won’t mean a damn thing… and you’ll end up in the friendzone, I can promise you that.
But if you touch her too much you’re going to come off as a creep… and she might not want anything to do with you.
So don’t get friend-zoned and don’t freak her out…
Get her in bed instead:
Click here to see why touching is so important and how to use your touch to sleep with hot girls fast.
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