How to Flirt with a Woman You’re Attracted To!
Whether you want to know how to flirt with women in person to make her want you and how to flirt with a woman you’re attracted to already, you’ll like this vlog!
So what is flirting nowadays?
Flirting is all about the 3 Ts, which we’ll get into in just a moment and I’ll share the one thing you should never say to a woman unless you’re looking to crash and burn.
Speaking of which, does this sound familiar…
You’ve managed to connect with her and you think she’s interested, but you don’t want to come off as desperate and you definitely don’t want to turn her off by being too sexual.
Or maybe you’re already in the friend zone and need to flirt your way out of it in a way that doesn’t make her block you and run for the hills.
Whether you just met her or you’ve know her for awhile, let’s take a closer look at how to flirt with a woman you’re attracted to.
What is flirting?
Flirting is making your romantic and/or sexual interest known to entice her to want you.
Alright, so I teased you a little bit with the 3 Ts of flirting. What are they?
3Ts of Flirting
If you’ve watched some of my other videos, you know women need to feel safe and they require stimulation.
Also, women are initially more attracted to a man who’s feelings about them are uncertain.
So, how do you show interest while making her think you’re not sure about her?
You tease her!
Women instinctively know if you’re talking to them, you like the way they look and probably want to sleep with them.
Believe it or not, men are actually quicker than women to put someone into the “would I or wouldn’t I have sex with them” category based on looks alone.
So, yes, that cute girl you managed to wrangle up a conversation with at the coffee shop knows you like the looks of her.
In order to introduce uncertainty, you need to let her know she hasn’t qualified yet.
But you need to do this in a playful way, otherwise it could be a turn off.
The best way for you to tease a girl is with a neg or dis.
What’s a Neg? What’s a Dis?
These are terms used by the Pick Up Artist (PUA) community meaning, “negative” “disrespect” or “disqualifier.”
I’ve mentioned in other videos she’s more invested if you when it’s her choice; when she has to do some of the chasing.
When you use a neg or dis, you put the ball in her court to convince you she’s worthy.
You’ve already started a conversation, perhaps simply by saying, “Hello, how’s your day going so far?”
Or even add, “… but how’s it really going?”
If you can tell she’s interested in you, watch my video on signs she’s flirting, then you can increase the stakes.
Say something like, “I’m not usually attracted to blondes but I couldn’t resist those eyes” or “that smile.”
Yes, you will feel awkward the first few times you do attempt this.
Expect to fail at first. No new skill comes without an uncomfortable learning curve.
Back to the story…
The compliment—eyes, smile or whatever—must be sincere but not overtly sexual.
Do not compliment her, at this stage, on any part of the body associated with sex: T & A & L… lips!
She knows you’re not looking at her lips because you like the words they speak!
The neg or dis is saying you’re not usually attracted to blondes, whether or not this is true. But it’s balanced with a compliment about her eyes or smile.
Saying, “I’m not usually attracted to…” clearly but subtly tells her you are attracted to her, if there was any question, which shows her you’re…
Willing to take risks ✔️
If she was kind of attracted … she’ll be intrigued and play along.
But, if she’s super hot and been hit on a lot, she may roll her eyes.
You can say, “Too much? I should buy you a coffee to make up for it.” Wink.
The higher her initial physical attraction, the more you can get away with saying almost anything.
If her attraction is medium, she’ll be more sensitive to potential turnoffs. She’ll be looking for them.
And if her attraction is low or zero, you probably won’t even get this far.
Coach Corey says, “Treat her like a bratty little sister.”
This is great advice!
Particularly, because you can’t turn off your attraction to her just like that, but treating her like a bratty, little sister helps keep you in the right frame of mind—qualifying her.
Never use a neg or dis that:
- You think is a true negative trait about her.
- Is something she would think of as a negative trait because society thinks so.
- Is overtly sexual.
Do not say, “I’m not usually attracted to women with such big feet…” or “an underbite…” etc
Do not say, “Those are some sturdy shoulders. You remind me of my favourite bulldog, Costello.”
Avoid anything that could be considered a negative by society.
Even if she likes the trait about herself, she’ll know society doesn’t think so and since you don’t know her, it’ll come across as being rude or mean.
How to flirt with a woman you’re attracted to means breaking the touch barrier.
But you don’t want to wind up turning her off or ending up in a #metoo situation.
The reason touching comes before tension—as in sexual tension—is because it’s a way to test the waters to see how responsive she is and how far in you can go with tension.
The Rule of Thumb for Flirting with Touch
The sooner and more often you break the touch barrier, the sooner she’ll be comfortable in your presence and with you touching her.
But remember, women’s primary need is to feel safe.
Which is why you’ll touch her appropriately.
What is appropriate?
Same as the compliments—no T & A & L!
Where would you touch your bratty little sister? Where would you touch your Grandmother?
In case you’re not sure…
Safe Places to Touch Her When Flirting
- Hands (depending on Covid)
- Arm / Shoulder
Unsafe Places to Touch Her When Flirting
- Face / Neck
- Torso 😉
- Legs / Booty
- Hair (depending on the length aka how close you are to her face/neck)
- Lower back
- Hands (#Covid)
Use the Little Sister / Granny test if you’re not sure (assuming you came from a well-adjusted home).
Remember, this is flirting not seduction. Flirting can lead to seduction but if you go there too soon, you won’t go there at all.
Again, unless you’re Tyrone and her attraction is high and it’s last call at da club.
But for y’all regular dudes, follow the sequence: tease, touch, tension.
Now, let’s look at tension… as in: sexual tension.
How to flirt with a woman you’re attracted to to make her want you must include sexual tension.
No sexual tension = “No sex for you!” aka The Friend Zone.
You can tease her and you can touch her but if you don’t sprinkle in sexual tension she’ll quickly dry up and lose attraction.
And if the thought of doing any of this gives you anxiety or makes you want to give up before you start, stick with me, I have a solution for you.
So tension is imperative, but you also don’t want to overdo it because then you’ll come off as creepy and lecherous.
If you said, “I’m not usually attracted to…” you’ve already introduced some tension.
She knows you don’t mean you were attracted to her personality.
Other ways to introduce sexual tension are to:
1.Make your appropriate touch linger longer and/or start moving into the grey zones: lower back, hair. (Feet are riskier; save for advanced flirting.)
Do this after you’ve touched her often enough that she’s comfy with your touch.
2. Wink at her.
In reference to something specific, particularly a shared secret or joke; or randomly.
3. Sexual innuendo.
Innuendo is advanced flirting. Gauge her reactions before this to ensure it’ll be well-received.
This one is tricky and will take some practice to find the sweet spot.
You’ll have to have some balls and be prepared to fail a few times to figure it out.
And while every situation is a little different and my advice can’t cover all interactions, there are some rules of thumb that may keep you from overwhelm and overthinking when you should be in the moment having fun.
The best thing you can do is gauge her reaction throughout the interaction as you escalate.
Reminder: No tension, no arousal.
Hint! Ditch the goal of scoring a goal of practicing and being playful and curious.
Scientifically, you actually learn faster when slightly stressed, like when there are stakes in the game.
Walking through it a thousand times in your mind will never be as effective as getting out there and practicing in real life.
Which is why it’s so important to make the goal about practice not perfection.
Again, if doing this stuff makes you feel anxious, stick with me I have something that’ll help you.
Now, as promised, what’s the one thing you should never say to a girl when flirting?
Never Say “This” When Flirting
A critical tip for how to flirt with a woman you’re attracted to to make her want you is to only self-deprecate or joke about something you have zero insecurity or self-consciousness about.
If you’re insecure or self-conscious about something for real and try to play it off as funny, it will bomb.
If you’re out of work and feel crappy about it, don’t try to joke about it. She’ll feel that.
If you’ve gained 50 pounds and have a Covid belly and wouldn’t want to take your shirt off in front of her with the lights on… don’t joke about that. She’ll feel that.
If you bring up something you’re insecure or ashamed of, she will feel it and it will be a turnoff.
Women mirror your feelings about yourself.
And, if you do struggle with feeling confident enough to even approach or talk to a girl, I encourage you consider my WakeUP2Luv program.
Or if you’ve chosen poorly in the past because you either didn’t see the red flags or didn’t think you could do better, again consider WakeUP2Luv.
I originally created it for shy guys and guys who’ve settled only to have their hearts broken and end up single again.
Because you do deserve your dream girl, whether it’s that cute girl you met at the coffee shop or someone you’ve had a crush on for awhile.
Fair warning: WakeUP2Luv is not easy and it does have a lot of homework, both at home and in the real world.
But it provides a step-by-step guide for what to do to get that high value girl and know you deserve her.
Plus, I’m with you along the way.
And, if you don’t like it, you can get all your money back.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Thanks for being here and God bless!