How To Not Take Dating So Seriously And Relax For Women Over 40

how to not take dating so seriously

Discover how to not take dating so seriously with these easy tips to help you relax and enjoy the process more. Find love with less drama.

Too Intense about Dating?

Are you one of those women who feel nervous or intense about dating? Each date is a very big deal. You put your energy into texting and the phone call. You spend a lot of time getting ready for the first date.

During all these phases you try to qualify each guy quickly to see if he has real potential and make sure you don’t waste your time.

But what if you knew how to not take dating so seriously? Maybe lighten up and enjoy meeting men. What if it could actually be fun? Crazy right?

Then when things go wrong you wouldn’t take it so hard. The disappointment wouldn’t bring you down about dating, yourself, or your prospects to find love with the right man.

When you are hard on yourself about the process and let yourself take it all too seriously, that can make you even more uncertain of your ability to ever find love again.


If your heart gets bruised too often on the emotional waters of meeting men, you might stop looking, which makes things even harder to get started again later.

This might surprise you, but these are clear signals you are taking dating way too seriously!

I understand how hard dating is – I won’t deny or sugar coat it. Finding love takes work. On the other hand, it can also be more fun than you think is possible. These easy and proven strategies will make a difference in your dating life and help you relax and lighten up!

1. Remember It’s Just a Date!

how to not take dating so seriously

For a great first date, please take the pressure off! You want to relax so you appear confident and at your very best which increases your appeal to men.

To accomplish this I suggest finding a way to relax. It’s just one date and you won’t die if it doesn’t work out. It’s time to figure out how to not take dating so seriously.

No matter how things turn out, whether the guy doesn’t ask you a single question, is a jerk or never calls again, so what? Think about it – why are you over-valuing 60-90 minutes from just one day of your life?

Keep the date in perspective to get through it with greater ease. A bad date is definitely not the end of the world when you look at the bigger picture.

A first date is nothing more than a sorting process to see if you feel the other person is worth seeing again. That’s it. In truth it’s more like a simple chemistry check.

If he doesn’t want to see you again or never calls, there are plenty more men! Stop making such a big deal out of every first date. It’s exhausting and makes dating far too emotionally draining.

2. Give the Men Nicknames

When I was dating to find love, sometimes I was seeing up to three or four guys at a time. I followed this strategy because I never knew which man would call and ask me out again. This made it a lot of fun!

One thing I noticed was how sharing these stories with my girlfriends got really confusing. At one point I was dating three men named John. No kidding. So, I gave them nicknames to make them easier to identify.

One worked for the post office so his nickname was easy – The Postman. One was older than the others so I called him Old John. And the third loved to play tennis so he was Tennis Guy.

Doing this did more than make it easy to tell my dating stories. The nicknames helped me separate from the men emotionally, so I felt more detached and relaxed. Wondering how to not take dating so seriously – this nickname tip made it a lot easier and added a bit of humor. How could I get too hung up on “Tennis Guy”? It worked for me and this strategy will work for you too.

3. Date Multiple Men

how to not take dating so seriously

Like most single women, I tended to over think the guys I met. If I was only dating one man, then all my attention naturally went to him. This caused me to get prematurely attached to men who had not proven themselves to me as having real romantic partner potential.

That’s why dating more than one man at a time was a tremendous help! If you want to know how to not take dating so seriously – that was one simple method that worked well for me.

I dated any man who asked me who fit my Mr. Right Blueprint. So, I went out with multiple men and that prevented me from overthinking about any one guy!

Instead of fretting over when a man would ask me out again, I improved my odds of finding a compatible man by juggling several at the same time. This was easier than it might sound because the truth is, most men ghost or disappear after one or two dates. I never really got overwhelmed for this reason.

How To Not Take Dating So Seriously – 3 Strategies to Lighten Up!

If you are thinking about how to not take dating so seriously, these three powerful and proven methods work like a charm. You’ll find these tips help you relax and lighten up about dating.

When you keep each date in perspective, assign nicknames and date multiple men, you will be on track to find lasting love with the right man.

Whether you are just starting to date or you’ve been dating for a while, this will shift your results and put you in a more positive apace. You cannot go wrong following these three simple steps.

If’ you’ve felt frustrated, confused, at wit’s end, not knowing where to turn, try my proven dating advice. These tips about how not to take dating so seriously will help you stay on the path to finding the love you dream of with a wonderful man who will cherish you.

Want more smart but simple dating advice like this? Download my book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes that Keep You Single. 


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.