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Let’s establish a few things that should be indisputable when it comes to online dating.
- People don’t write to people they don’t find attractive. I could write you the world’s greatest online dating profile, but if someone of the opposite sex doesn’t find you physically appealing from the get-go, it probably won’t matter much.
- Presuming that someone does find you attractive online, a well-written online dating profile matters a LOT.
I’m amazed at how hard it is for people to wrap themselves around the second point.
A great profile is what will make someone choose you over the scores of other similarly attractive people.
When I talk about how much online dating profiles matter, the immediate pushback is that people are all about photos and that profiles don’t matter at all. WTF?
It’s like saying that a 1.9 GPA wouldn’t matter if you had a 1300 SAT score. Of course it matters. It ALL matters. A cute face and decent body will get you in the door. A great profile is what will make someone choose you over the scores of other similarly attractive people. Just think about it for a second:
I’m browsing women online. I see 50 of them that turn my head. I don’t have the bandwidth to write to 50 women at once, much less at all. Who am I going to write to first? The attractive woman with the best profile, not the most attractive woman with the shittiest profile. SOME men do that. They are largely stupid, shallow men, so you need not worry about them. Men of substance are looking for women of substance – even when we’re trying to get laid as well.
It’s for this reason that I started e-Cyrano online dating profile writing in 2003 – to help singles stand out from the crowd with a one-of-a-kind profile that attracts more attention from higher quality prospects. And it’s for reason that I share with you this article that exonerates my position that good profiles matter.
So let’s agree everyone online is driven by looks first, and that everyone of substance actually cares who you are and what you have to say.
New research published in the journal Personal Relationships suggests that things like the length of your profile, the number of positive and negative words you use, and whether or not you use swear words, are all sending subtle signals and influencing how other online daters assess your personality.
“Online daters who wish to be perceived as more consistent with the ideal romantic partner personality profile should write fairly lengthy ads that use an abundance of positive emotion words, and refrain from any negative emotionality or cursing,” the researchers write.”
Sounds obvious, but if you’ve dated online, you know that it’s not. People write short ads that reveal little – and then complain that online dating sucks and people are only concerned with photos. Ironic, isn’t it?
e-Cyrano clients, on the other hand, usually have strangers write to tell them that their profile is the best they’ve ever seen. Such is the power of taking the time to figure out what makes you unique and what someone else gets out of dating you.
So let’s agree that everyone online is driven by looks first, and that everyone of substance actually cares who you are and what you have to say. And if you’ve been dating online on and off for awhile without much success, it’s distinctly possible that it’s because you had no idea how an amazing profile can attract a completely different kind of man.
Click here to learn more about e-Cyrano and please share your thoughts below about the effects of a good (or bad) profile.
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