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This is the second video based on the questions YOU wanted answered in my big survey. Last week, I shared with you the revelation that men are about feelings, not just looks. And that the reason a man will want to marry you has everything to do with how he feels when he’s around you. Make him feel good, and he’ll want to stay. Make him feel bad, well, you know the rest.
That idea was not to say that you’ve done anything wrong — you might be the sweetest, most loving, perfect girlfriend ever. I just think it’s surprising to many women that men are really driven by their feelings — namely, how they feel around you.
Which is a perfect segue to today’s video, in which you will definitely find yourself nodding your head. After you listen to what I have to say, I’m confident you are going to save yourself YEARS of wasted time in the future.
You Don’t Attract the Wrong Men. You ACCEPT The Wrong Men.
What happens when you find yourself incredibly attracted to a man? Well, there’s the feeling of chemistry and everything that comes along with it — the obsessive highs that come with wanting to be with him, the joy of feeling incredibly connected, and, what you may forget, the willful blindness that allows you to overlook his flaws.
That’s one of the most miraculous things about chemistry: it allows you to focus only on the good and ignore all the bad.
This was incredibly apparent to me when I read your questions in my survey and received hundreds of comments from women attributing their relationship failures to attracting the wrong men instead of picking the wrong guy. First of all, let’s get one thing straight…
MOST men are the wrong men. If you were an average woman, you’d be able to be with an average man and be content. Since you’re an above-average woman — smart, strong, successful – your standards are going to go up accordingly.
So if, by your standards, 95% of men are the WRONG men, it makes it that much harder to find ANY guy to date, and makes each new man who does qualify seem all the more important. Once a guy passes through your strong chemistry filter, he’s in.
By this point, you’ve forgotten the third rule of chemistry: it allows you to focus only on the good and ignore all the bad.
By this point, you’ve forgotten the third rule of chemistry: it allows you to focus only on the good and ignore all the bad.
Which is why you can have incredible chemistry and end up in a TERRIBLE relationship, where he doesn’t call you, doesn’t sleep with you, doesn’t compliment you, doesn’t make you feel safe, and doesn’t commit to you.
But you stick around because of how strong your rare FEELINGS are. You’ve now discovered the real secret to why you’re in dead-end relationships:
You don’t attract the wrong men, you accept the wrong men.
If you consistently find yourself in relationships with liars, cheaters, addicts, leeches, or commitmentphobes, your job isn’t to get them to stop lying, cheating, drinking, mooching, or committing. Your job is to leave.
At a certain point, it’s not his fault for being fundamentally flawed.
It’s your fault for thinking that your chemistry is powerful enough to change your broken relationship. Remember, most men are the wrong men. Men with chemistry are the ones who break through, but you give them a free pass.
You’ll never stop attracting the wrong men, but starting now, you can stop PICKING the wrong guy or ACCEPTING the bad behavior of the wrong men… and save yourself years of heartbreak and pain.
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