Is She Girlfriend Material? | blog

Is She Girlfriend Material? | blog

You’ve been dating for a little while now, and your friends are starting to ask, “Is it serious?  Are you boyfriend/girlfriend?” A longterm relationship seems like the natural progression, but be careful, don’t rush into a bad thing.  Make sure she’s got the right traits before taking the next step. Here are just a few traits that a good girlfriend will have.

You like her.

This should go without saying, but we’re easily influenced by the people around us.  Maybe your buddies think she’s a fun, or your mother is pressuring you to settle down.  Don’t start a relationship because it’ll make someone else happy. The relationship should be about you and your girlfriend.

She shares your values.

Your lady doesn’t need to agree with you on every subject, but look for someone who concurs on major issues.  It’s incredibly difficult for a fervent atheist and a devout Christian to form a lasting relationship.  Not impossible—but very difficult.

Her life doesn’t revolve around going to nightclubs.

There’s nothing wrong with visiting a bar, but don’t start a serious relationship with a woman who visits dance clubs every week or more.  Her regular attendance could be a sign that she’s not ready to settle down.  She might come around someday, but at the moment she’s probably too much of a party animal.

Her wardrobe isn’t exclusively tight and revealing clothes.

This tip is similar to the one above. There’s nothing inherently wrong with wearing sexy revealing clothes. We all like to feel attractive. But if she wears nothing but 4-inch stilettos and booty shorts, she’s probably trying to garner a lot of male attention.

She’s sexual.

There’s more to a relationship than sex, but let’s not kid ourselves into believing it’s unimportant.  If there were no sexual energy you’d just be buddies. She needs to be interested in having sex with you. Don’t confuse your inability to seduce her for sexual frigidity on her part. Take time to learn what turns her on. Go slow and build up healthy sexual tension.

You think she’s beautiful.

Key word in this tip is “you”. Don’t date a girl because your friends, family, or society tells you that she’s beautiful. Looks have importance, but everyone has different taste. All that matters is you think she’s pretty.  Forget what your magazines think.

She respects you.

Too many men get into relationships where their lady is always putting them down. Don’t start a relationship with someone who emasculates you. Your girlfriend should make you feel stronger—not weaker. Avoid women who are interested in changing you.

She gets along with your friends and family.

How the hell can you have a great relationship if she doesn’t get along with your loved ones?  She should meet your friends and family prior to going steady.  Infatuation clouds our judgment.  Our close friends and family can act as the perfect filter for incompatible mates.

She isn’t needy.

Healthy relationships are not codependent. Your girlfriend should be able to function without a romantic partner. Shoot for a relationship that makes you both better versions of yourself.

She doesn’t flirt with other men.

Some people are naturally flirtatious, but your girlfriend should respect you enough to put a lid on it. Flirting with other people is a recipe for jealousy and heartache. Don’t start a serious relationship with someone who’s always flirting with other guys.

She doesn’t have an ex-boyfriend floating around nearby.

Is your potential lover still close friends with her ex?  If so, you need to pump the brakes.  There’s a very good chance that she’s not over him (or the other way around).  There’s nothing that will ruin courtship faster than a rival who knows your mate just as well as you do (if not better). People who are ready for serious relationships typically leave the old ones behind.

She has a good relationship with her family.

Pay attention to the way she treats her family, because that’s how she’ll probably treat you. Do they fight and bicker, or are they caring and kind? Watching her interact with her kin is like looking into a crystal ball to see how she’s going to treat her lover.

She really likes you.

Here’s another one that should go without saying, but a lot of guys have the sadomasochistic tendency to chase women who aren’t interested in them.  It’s kind of like the male version of the female cliché, “I can change him.” Look, if she’s not interested after a couple of dates she will never be interested. Cut your losses. Even if you managed to convince her to be your girlfriend it’s going to end in heartache. You should never have to convince someone to be attracted to you.

Love is a complicated thing. There are hundreds of other relationship litmus tests, but these tips are the most important.  If she fails to meet even one of these requirements you should exercise caution in moving forward with a serious relationship, and possibly consider ending it before it starts. The good news is there are plenty of awesome people in the world, and many of them will make great companions!