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Yes, this is a blog about dating and relationships, but I also try to make it a one-stop shop for information relevant to the smart, strong, successful women who frequent this site.
That’s why I post articles and studies every Thursday about gender dynamics, personality types, sexual assault, and parenting – all of which impact a portion of my readers. Today’s post is mostly for the 45-and-under set because it’s specifically about the efficacy of IVF (in-vitro-fertilization). I’ve posted about this before in a post called “Why Women Who Want to Have Children Should Date Seriously in Their Early 30’s.” That article linked to a powerful piece by Amy Klein about the true numbers for women of a certain age who want to have their own biological children. (Amy did, in fact, have her own child last year, after many struggles).
The upshot: just because you look good for your age doesn’t mean your ovaries are capable of producing viable eggs well into your 40’s. And if you find that you’re not as fertile as you’d hoped, IVF is your best possible hope for success. There are only a few problems:
- It works less than 30% of the time during your first round of IVF, and 17% after the sixth cycle. If you’re 40-42, those numbers drop to 12.3% and 6.9%.
- Each cycle of IVF averages $12,400.
That’s a lot of risk for a very uncertain reward. But for those couples (or single women) who are highly motivated, there is a winnowing opportunity that just can’t be missed. And while old assumptions were that women couldn’t get pregnant after three or four failed tries, in fact, 2/3 of women who tried IVF reported having a child by the sixth cycle.
I hope this provides a ray of hope for women with the means to invest so heavily in IVF. One of my best friends from college went through 5-6 rounds with his 44-year-old wife to conceive their second child, and I’m positive it was worth every penny.
Your thoughts, below, are always appreciated. (Except the ones chastising people for spending $100K when there are kids they can adopt. It’s their money. It’s their lives. They can do whatever they want with it.)
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