Love Is Scary – How To Spot Good Men Vs. Scary Monsters

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Do you think love is scary? I get it, but the truth is, all men are not monsters! Here are three ways to notice the good men around you and find the right one for you.

Worried that Every Man You Meet Might Be Frankenstein?

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I know how hard it can be to find love with a good man. I understand when women complain to me that the men out there are terrible. They just want one thing. They lie, cheat and scam.

All the good ones are taken and even the media says what’s left are scary monsters like… Frankenstein (OK, Halloween is on my mind.) That’s why love is scary.

I walked in your shoes being a single woman until 40. But I was lucky because I had done a lot of personal development work. So, I had access to a bounty of methods that helped me open my mind and turn my negative thinking and attitude around.

Why Is Being In Love Scary?

One of the biggest challenges I faced was believing a good man was out there for me and I COULD find him and the love I longed for dearly. Let me tell you, I worked at it!

I used every exercise and mind trick I knew to shift these patterns that surely would have interfered with what became my successful search for love.


Not only did I manage to keep an open mind about the men I met and stay positive during the dating journey, but I also met an adorable man and we’ve been happily married for years.

Yes, it’s worth the effort! I know you can find love too. Heck if I did it, any woman can!

Here are three empowering mind exercises to help you move past the idea that love is scary. When you stop imagining that all men are scary monsters, you’ll find more good men out there and one just for you.

1. Practice Looking for the Good in Men

love is scary When you notice men walking past you on the street, instead of ignoring them or internally criticizing them, take a moment to look for the good in them. Ask yourself, “Why does that man’s girlfriend or wife love him? What does he have to offer his woman? What does he do to make her feel special?”

This does take some practice but, it’s an extremely powerful method to shift your thinking. You are resetting your outlook to find good things about the men you notice.

Don’t feel badly if you quickly fall back to thinking he’s not dressed well, is losing his hair, or wherever you might usually go with your thinking. That’s normal and making this shift in thought process will take time.

Commit to doing this exercise on a regular basis and be gentle with yourself as you realize all the negativity that comes up when you try to be positive. It’s  great way to stop thinking love is scary and men are horrible.

2. Smile at One New Man Every Day

This is a bit difficult now with COVID and wearing a mask. However, if you are out and going to work or the store, look up, face forward and notice men. A man might not be able to see your smile, but you can bob your head and say hello. Your eyes will still show a smile.

Many women are task-focused as you hurry around to get stuff done. You might not even notice a man looking at you or smiling.

Or if you think love is scary, your normal instinct is to look away as fast as possible because you would rather not engage. Sadly, neither of these instincts will help you connect with a good man.

You cannot imagine the positive changes that happen when I convince a client to smile at men. The results are consistently remarkable!

3. Notice Happy Couples Around You

love is scaryYou might think it’s counterproductive to notice happy couples. They have what you want and that could make you feel envious or unhappy.

But let’s look at this another way.

Once you see a happy couple, instead of feeling your own lack of love, you can ride the energetic coattails of their relationship happiness. They are your evidence that finding love is possible. After all, they did it!

If you do this exercise, you will start to understand that you can find love too. You are no different than other people and you are just as worthy as anyone else.

Elevate Your Energy

When you spot happy couples, leverage their happy energy by saying to yourself, “Love does exist! I want what they have and am ready to be next!”

This is not at all like envy or jealousy. It’s a higher level vibe where you elevate your own energy to the level of your desire. You lift yourself above the old idea that love is scary.

Your desire for love is a higher vibration. Seeing happy couples can help lift your energy right now to be like the love you want.

According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. That means when you lift your energy to the level of happy couples in love – you are now like the energy you want to attract!

Bingo! That’s what makes you more magnetic to find love.

Yes, You Can Make This Work for You!

Shift your mind away from your internal negative chatter that love is scary and men are scary monsters because GOOD MEN ARE OUT THERE.

Learn to notice the good side of men and start to expect to see that. When you BELIEVE, your chance to find love skyrockets!

Happy Halloween!






Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.