Where Are All the Good Men?

You’ve summoned up the courage to jump back into the dating scene, ready to find the man of your dreams. You eagerly download dating apps, only to find yourself surrounded by disappointment. It feels like all the good guys are already taken, and you’re stuck in a desert of desirable men. The frustration mounts, and you contemplate quitting or moving to a different city, convinced that your location is to blame.

Don’t lose hope. The high-value men are out there. Here’s what you need to do…

Strategy #1: Mindset Shifts

Avoid self-sabotaging your progress. Psychologists have identified a phenomenon called confirmation bias, where we tend to find what we’re looking for. Every person you meet will have a mix of good and bad qualities. It’s a matter of where you choose to focus your attention. Instead of fixating on the negative traits, give yourself time to explore and notice the good parts.

Patience is key. The idea of love at first sight can cloud our judgment and make us impatient. Remember, finding the right person takes time, practice, and a willingness to adjust your approach. Our clients follow a predictable pattern—week by week, the quality of potential partners improves. This improvement is a result of becoming better at attracting, selecting, sorting, and choosing suitable candidates. Research shows that dating for longer periods decreases the likelihood of divorce and increases the chances of a happy marriage. So, be patient and give yourself time to develop a solid foundation before committing to a long-term relationship.

Strategy #2: Find the Right Places

Instead of asking, “Where are all the great guys?”, shift your perspective to ask, “Where can I find the best guy for me?” Start by considering your own interests and activities. Where do you enjoy spending your time? Focus on you first. Chances are, like-minded individuals who share your passions can be found in those same places. Also, explore clubs, organizations, and community events that align with your interests. These venues offer opportunities to meet people who share similar values and hobbies.

Don’t underestimate the power of dating apps. Your profile matters and often sends signals you may not intend. (If you aren’t sure, have a professional look yours over). By presenting a clear picture of who you are and what you value, you’ll attract higher-quality men who resonate with your authentic self. Similarity matters, so highlight your unique qualities and be genuine in your interactions.

Conclusion:

In the quest to find the right partner, it’s essential not to self-sabotage or place undue pressure on yourself. Instead, focus on knowing who you are, what you like, and optimizing your life accordingly. By cultivating a fulfilling and authentic lifestyle, you naturally attract like-minded individuals. Remember, it’s not solely about the guys; it’s about discovering yourself and aligning with the right person. So, don’t give up hope—the good men are out there, waiting to find someone just like you.