Why Do Guys Cheat Instead of Breaking Up? Understanding Men

why do men cheat -10 heartbreaking reasons


Seriously, why do guys cheat instead of breaking up? That’s a million dollar question, but these 10 devastating reasons are simpler than you might think.

why do guys cheat instead of breaking up


10 Heartbreaking Reasons Men Stray

You’ve been dating your dream guy for months now, maybe longer. It’s been smooth sailing and you are so happy to have found one of the “good guys.” You have long-term plans with a real future. You’ve met each others’ families. And you couldn’t be happier…

Until the fateful day you find out he’s cheating and your entire world comes crashing down.

How could he do this to you? What could he be thinking?

You wonder what you might have done wrong and look back at everything in great detail, scouring your memory for anything that helps you possibly understand. How this could happen to you?

Trouble is some people just cheat. Men and women are guilty of this. Here are 10 reasons that can help you start to understand why on earth your man decided to cheat on you.

1. He Says, “It Just Happened”

10 reasons why guys cheat

On a rare occasion, forces of the Universe conspire, bringing two people together when one of them might not be single.

In this particular case, your man was not intending to cheat. Perhaps the woman was aggressive. They met, one thing lead to another and bam! He crossed the line.

True, he didn’t use great judgement, and if he had a bit of restraint the whole nasty situation could have been avoided. Especially, if he were the kind of man who had a strong intention to keep his promise to you.

Which means, this is a WEAK EXCUSE at best for why men cheat.

2. He Can’t Face a Fight

Your man might have a lot on his plate and prefers to avoid some horrible, massive fight and the tear-filled emotional fall out.

Nevertheless, he’s getting itchy and thinking about his options. The idea of leaving you is far too big a decision to face at this time. Rather than deal with the situation maturely, he goes for something on the side.

3. He Thinks Rules Don’t Apply to Him

he cheats because he loves being a bad boy

Narcissistic men think the normal rules of life and law do not apply to them. In other words, cheating is a guilty pleasure that’s okay for him and he thinks he won’t get caught. And if he does get caught, so what?

This is a simple to why do men cheat. Because they think they can. Crazy right?

He sees a pretty woman and he’s off to conquer her because he loves the attention and adoration a new woman provides. Also, there are other personality disorders that could apply here too.

4. He’s in Close Proximity

The most likely place for a straying heart crops up at work. Of people who admit to infidelity, 36% say they had sex with a co-worker.

It’s easy to see how this could happen if they are working hard late into the night. Especially on a business trip. That shared mission and closeness can definitely be seductive.

Yet, you would hope a man (or woman) would take their vows or commitment to exclusivity seriously. Sadly, when the pressure is on, sex does offer a big release and people are human.

However, that doesn’t make it right by any stretch of the imagination.

5. He’s a Status Quo Guy

Maybe he feels more comfortable with the status quo. He likes being with you because you offer grounding, emotional support, or balance. Perhaps you are a great partner and make his life much easier.

Still, he misses the excitement of being with a new woman who adores him and boosts his ego. Sometimes understanding why he’d do this is totally mind-boggling.

So, why do men cheat? He likes things the way the are and he wants variety, spice, and excitement too.

6. He’s a Coward


Simply put, he just can’t face you like a grown man, be honest, and tell you it’s over. Instead, he cheats and knows you will NOT tolerate that, which means you’ll do the breaking up for him. It’s a sure thing and one clear answer about why men cheat.

This is why some men mess up and get found out so easily because they WANT YOU TO KNOW.

Katherine was visiting her daughter in another state when her cell died. She called Rick, her man of 10 years, and he gallantly offered her his old phone and shipped it that same day. What a nice guy!

When Katherine got the phone, she noticed text messages from…another woman. This was mighty disturbing, but she decided to be brave and broach the subject.

Rick replied, “Hey, I can’t be with a woman who doesn’t trust me and it didn’t mean anything,” Sure it didn’t. He could have cleared the phone, right? But he didn’t because he wanted to push her buttons. They broke up the next day.

Still asking why do guys cheat instead of breaking up? Here are five more gut-wrenching reasons.

7. He’s a Sex Addict

maybe he cheats on you because he's a sex addict

This is the new celebrity addiction rapidly trickling to the masses. Sexual addiction is a real problem and shows up in many ways. One way is a need for sex with lots of women all the time. Bingo – the perfect recipe for cheating.

How long are you willing to hang around to find out if he’ll heal from his addiction?

Sexual addiction is like any other addiction including drugs, alcohol, or gambling. Yes, people do get past it, but it can be at a huge cost to your self-esteem and enjoyment of life.

Only you know if staying with him is the smart move or will leave you damaged.

8. He’s Getting Even

Only 9% of men admit they cheated to get back at a spouse (as opposed to 14% of women). But this infidelity statistic sure proves it happens and is a reason why men cheat.

I’m not going to say it’s your fault since I have no idea why he’s mad. And really, there are more productive ways to settle an issue!

I don’t see how evening the score ever fixed anything. Therapy? Yes. Better communication? For sure. But cheating? No way. It might make him feel better being in the arms of another woman, but it sure won’t strengthen your relationship.

9. He’s into Being a Bad Boy

he cheats because he loves being a bad boy

There is a certain excitement to having an affair, which is undeniable. Being naughty can be a thrill and add to the sexual pleasure. The idea of risk and the possibility of getting caught for some people are totally tantalizing.

Fantasy can also play a role, being with someone new. Trying different things out that he knows you won’t go for. Some people find themselves craving a variety of partners.

Let’s face it, shows on  TV or the movies do make cheating look like fun! However, that’s still no excuse for why men cheat.

10. He’s Cheated Before

If a man cheated on you once, the chances are 350% higher he will do it again. So, if you catch him with another woman a second time, think long and hard about giving him that third shot. [Infidelity Statistics 2017]

Yes, it is possible that people can change. But it’s rare, especially in this situation. It requires inner strength, focus and a serious and true commitment. If your man has cheated on you more than once, you can count on that happening again.

Think about it this way – what was the consequence of his cheating the first time? A fight and unpleasantness? Then you calmed down and took him back. The second time the fighting might have been more intense. But still, you took him back.

At this point, he knows you’ll forgive him for anything. I’m just saying…he doesn’t need to change when you make it easy for him to disrespect you.

Why Do Guys Cheat Instead of Breaking Up?

why do men cheat -10 heartbreaking reasons

The bottom line is this: Some men are honest, committed, and loyal. These men will NEVER cheat because for them it’s not an option. That’s who I hope you are in love with – a man who adores you and is completely committed.

And some men are born cheaters and just can’t stop, regardless of the consequences. If you’re with a man like this, it could be time to face the truth.

As far as what to do when you catch him cheating, there are people who manage to work through this crisis, forgive the partner, and stay together happily.

I personally know survivors of infidelity who are glad they stayed together. They listened to each other, went to therapy  or couples counseling, worked on the relationship, and recommitted to being loyal to each other.

You are the only person who can make that decision after discovering you’ve been cheated on. You are in charge of taking care of yourself and choosing the course of action that suits you best.

I wish you a clear mind and inner strength for your decision making, and lots of love because you deserve it.

 Ready for a quality guy? Get this free audio program 5 Surefire Ways to Get a Quality Man.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.