See Good Intentions – Dr. Rick Hanson

How?

Take a minute to recognize the many good intentions – aims, purposes, desires – that you have in a typical day. Good intentions don’t need to be saintly. Wanting to enjoy a cup of coffee, eat a decent breakfast, lock the door behind you, get to work on time, be conscientious, feel safe, care for a family, be a decent person, avoid trouble, hurt less, enjoy something sweet, not to quarrel, and to live to see the sunrise . . . these are all good intentions.

Most good intentions will be small. But they still matter. Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones! Sure, some intentions aren’t so good, such as desires to dominate, act out addictive cravings, or dump negative feelings on others. But for almost everyone, the great majority of intentions are good ones. Let it become a feeling, a strong sense in your body, that you are someone with good intentions.

Talking with a friend, be aware of their positive intentions. How does it feel to see them? Try this routinely with people you care about. I find that doing this helps me understand others better plus opens my heart. As appropriate, tell the other person what you’ve learned; hearing a recognition of one’s good intentions can be a powerful experience.

Try seeing good intentions in strangers walking down the street – or an airport. You’ll see lots of courtesies, efforts to do a good job, desire to understand or be understood, loyalty to friends and causes, fair play, and kindnesses. This practice makes me happy and gives me a stronger sense of our common humanity.

Also, try this with people who are difficult for you. This is not to excuse them. But seeing good intentions amidst bad behaviors can help you feel less affected – less stressed, irritated, or worried – by other people. You could also ask others to recognize the good intentions in you.

There’s an ember of sanctity in each one of us, including the one looking back in the mirror. Recognizing good intentions blows on that ember, adds fuel to it, and helps it grow into a warm and beautiful flame.