Why You Might Feel Lonely In Your 20s

There is something that isn’t talked about enough, at least in my opinion, so I thought we could talk about it today. That is, why are we so lonely in our 20s? I feel like in your twenties especially it has become harder to connect with others, or at least feel connected to them.

There is a big reason why I believe we are so lonely. I’ll be sharing that, as well as some tips to cure some of the loneliness you may be feeling right now.

Why Twenty Somethings Are So Lonely

Here are the reasons I believe that your twenties can be a lonely decade. All hope is not lost though. I’ll be sharing some tips to help overcome that loneliness further down in this post.

The Post Grad Social Slump

I believe this is one of the biggest factors that can cause you to feel lonely in your 20s. The transition from college student surrounded by social opportunities, roommates/hallmates, and friends to graduate in the real world can be challenging and isolating.

It can even be this way for those graduating high school and going straight into working as well. You have to work harder, and be more intentional about hanging out with people.

There aren’t events thrown in your face everyday and classmates to chat with in between classes. You may have to search out social opportunities and set up catchup time with friends.

Not Having A Normal College Experience, Thanks To COVID

This generation of early twenty somethings that went to college got the unwelcome experience of having to navigate college life around a global pandemic. There were many differences compared to the way going to college was like pre-COVID.

More online classes, not having roommates, and even debating whether or not to go home for the holidays, are just a few struggles that these college students faced. It’s no wonder it was hard to connect with others during this time.

Moving From Known Territory Can Cause You To Be Lonely In Your 20s

When your school community is all you’ve known for years, what happens when you leave? It’s perfectly normal to feel lonely and lost in this situation.

What intensifies these feelings is when you move on top of transitioning out of school. Whether you are moving back home, moving somewhere new for a job, or maybe doing some traveling, loneliness can start to creep in anywhere.

You are leaving everything you know and entering the unknown, most likely not knowing anyone near you. While it’s exciting, that can get lonely fast.

Our Expectations Are Skewed

There are so many TV shows that feature close-knit groups of friends all in their twenties figuring out life together. You are not alone if you were expecting this in your life too. I thought for sure I’d have a group of friends to do life with in my twenties.

While I did for seasons in this decade, it didn’t last like the TV shows. If you feel cheated out on not getting your friend group, it’s okay to grieve that and feel that loneliness. It happens to us all. 

Ways To Break Free From Being Lonely In Your 20s

Now that you know some reasons for the loneliness you may be feeling, here are some practical tips and advice you can apply to feel better. It may take some time, but the loneliness does get better.

Find New Friends Where You Are

While it’s more difficult to make new friends in your twenties, it’s not impossible. Think about things you enjoy doing, places you enjoy going, and connections you may already have.

For example, some great ways to meet new people are in church groups, local meetups, and events in town. If you go somewhere regularly, like a coffee shop, find other regulars and strike up a conversation.

Then there could even be a possibility that your network knows people where you are, find out and ask to be introduced. Those are just a few ways to make new friends.

For more tips on making friends in your 20s, check out these articles:

Schedule Regular Check-Ins With School Friends And Family

New friends are great, but we also want to nurture the relationships we currently have. Even if you are away from your friends and loved ones you can still make efforts to stay connected.

This is one of the best ways to prevent becoming lonely in your 20s. From weekly chats, planning visits, or maybe even vacations together are all ways to keep the bond strong.

For more tips on long distance friendships, check out these articles:

Feel Your Feelings To Avoid Being Lonely In Your 20s

This isn’t a fun tip, but a necessary one. You don’t want to hold those feelings of loneliness in, or try to distract yourself from it.

That will just make it feel worse later on. By acknowledging your loneliness you’ll be able to work to move past it sooner.

Separate Reality From Entertainment

I would love to live my life like I was in an episode of FRIENDS, but that just isn’t my reality. Friend groups are fun, but don’t get so caught up in looking for a group that you miss out on those one or two, or more separate friendships that can have an impact on your life.

Seek Help

If the loneliness gets too much to handle it may be time to seek help. There are a lot of options to do this, from in person meetings to text therapy. Your counselor/therapist can show you some coping techniques to help you feel better and give you even more advice on making lasting friendships.

Your twenties can be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. Be aware that you may experience seasons of loneliness then make a plan to feel better and get your social battery full. It may take a little more effort than before, but it’s worth it. 

Final Thoughts on Being Lonely In Your 20s

Throughout life periods of loneliness will take hold but for some reason our 20s seem to be a peak decade for this. I hope this outline gave you some affirmation of the struggle and some ideas on how to combat feeling lonely in your 20s.

How do you break free from feelings of loneliness? Let me know in the comments.

About the Author

Kelly graduated from Liberty University with a degree in Advertising and Public Relations and a minor in Journalism. Even though it took her a little while to find her career path, she was always meant to be in Communications. She remembers writing poems and songs when she was a little girl and pitching to my parents the reasons why I should have a cell phone when I was a teenager. She currently has a blog (budding-joy.com) where she talks about her weight-loss journey, mental health and personal development. Her hope is to encourage and inspire readers and let them know they are not alone. Reading blog posts like that are what helped her in tough times and she wants to pay it forward. She loves dance fitness, listening to music, and creating layouts in her bullet journal. She’s a big fan of planning, especially when cute notebooks and pens are involved.
Her dream job has changed so much over the years; right now she’d love to co-own a dance studio.

Website: budding-joy.com