3 Tips to Help You Overcome Your Biggest Fears About Dating after 50
I didn’t date much as a teenager.
Back in the day, we pretty much fell into relationships.
I remember having fun hanging out with my college sweetheart for years.
We just had fun playing pin ball, Euchre, and hanging with friends.
One day, he proposed and we decided to get married.
Fast forward 24 years, we divorced and I was suddenly faced with the idea of dating in midlife….and to be honest – I WAS PETRIFIED!
It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was either going to let my fears and self-doubt run me (and that meant staying single forever) or I was going to have to come up with a plan to face them because I didn’t want to be alone the rest of my life.
So, I came up with 3 steps that gave me a boost out of my comfort zone whenever I was feeling fear or self-doubt as I traveled this journey to love.
These steps are simple and something you can start using right now on your own journey.
Step #1 . . . Don’t let excuses to ruin your love life
Lots of dating situations came up that I didn’t know how to handle so instead of facing it head on, I’d come up with an excuse for why I shouldn’t go on a date.
These were similar to the excuses I hear from women I speak with everyday about why they aren’t dating.
Excuses like . . . “There are no good men left out there to date,” or “I’m too busy to date,” or “I don’t have time to date,” or “All men are jerks” and the list goes on.
Do you ever find yourself using any of these?
If so, this mantra is for you.
To get the right man into your life, you’ve got to be willing to let go of your excuses and be open to getting yourself online or out in the real world meeting men.
I wish it weren’t so but this is the ONLY way you’re going to find a man who’s a good fit for you.
Having a hard time letting those excuses go?
Then, ask yourself…. How badly do you want a companion in your life?
You can either have excuses or you can have the guy.
Which do you choose?
Step #2 . . . Feel the Fear—But Do It Anyway
Your ego creates fear to keep you safe.
And you’re not alone!
Everyone feels fear when it comes to dating.
After all, you’re putting yourself out there and this makes you vulnerable.
Whether its a fear of rejection, a fear of not being good enough, a fear of being humiliated, a fear of making mistakes, a fear men might not like you, or a fear of the unknown . . . it’s scary!
Most single women, experience fear even if they’ve dated for years.
What I’ve found separates the women who get the guy from the women who allow their fears to hold them back – is the women now in a relationship are willing to date in spite of the fears they may be feeling.
And they did it by walking directly into them.
They let themselves feel the fear.
And they’d ask the fear what it was trying to tell them.
Then they journaled or meditated on the answers they heard.
It takes courage to do this – courage I see my group and private clients show every day when they put themselves in the vulnerable position of meeting new men even though they are shaking in their boots as they do it.
BTW . . . facing the fear is never as bad as you think it’s going to be.
If you allow yourself to really feel the fears versus resisting the fear… what you might end up with is a great guy in your life.
Imagine how that would feel!
Step #3 . . . Be Willing to Get Out of Your Dating Comfort Zone
Most of us try to avoid discomfort yet it’s the best way to grow and get what you really want in life.
Here’s one of my favorite mantras that can help you get out of your comfort zone…
I am ready to date. I am willing to find and meet new men even when I feel uncomfortable. I know uncomfortable equals growth and growth equals achieving my dreams of finding the man I want to share my life with.
Now its time to work through your fears and break out of your comfort zone so you can have the man and the relationship you’ve been wanting in your life.
Get yourself online.
Start talking to men everywhere you go.
It can be fun if you have no attachment to how it’s going to work out.
And if you’re struggling with dating, I’d love to support you on your journey.
Just click here and tell me what’s been going on in your love life.
My Guy is EVERYTHING I’ve Wanted!
Thank you, Lisa, for your guidance and support in your Love after 50 Group Program. I’ve been dating a wonderful man I met in a Facebook singles group. He’s everything I’ve wanted in a partner and more! Just today, he delivered food and medicine to my front porch as I have a mild case of COVID. He also volunteered to deliver an at home test he had to a friend of mine who takes care of her 75 year old father. It’s been a wonderful experience and one that I have not had since I was divorced in 1997. Keep the faith ladies! He’s out there!
Believing in you!!!!!
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