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Every so often, we hear of leaders (some well-known and others not as much) who fall into some level of sin or indiscretion. When this happens, it shocks many people, and when it happens in the church, it damages many people in the flock. Some end up leaving that church and for some, it even causes them to question their own faith.
Yet the potential to fall victim to sin and indiscretion does not just happen to leaders, it can happen to everyday people like you and me, too. Whenever these things happen, you may try to piece together why it happened. While there are many potential reasons, there is one thread that seems to run through each situation. In just about every case, there was a lack of accountability in the person’s life.
While I am a believer in accountability, I also recognize that it has its own set of pitfalls. In fact, some people who fell into sin had people around them who were responsible for keeping them accountable, yet it didn’t work. So where are the holes in accountability and how do we plug them?
While I don’t know all the reasons accountability fails, I know at least three. I want to share those with you along with some ways to fix them.
What Is Accountability?
When you look at various definitions of this word, accountability is the willingness to give an account. You are taking responsibility and acknowledging what you have said and what you have done. In the way we are using the word, it is giving someone else permission to question you about what you have done, what you have said, or where you have been. This is not an inquisition, but a willingness to open your life so that there are no hidden places in it.
This matters because sin and temptation grow in the dark, but they die in the light. When you are accountable, you are shedding light on your life so that sin and temptation cannot flourish in it. When accountability is working, you may give someone access to your life. This should include all the places where your choices and decisions are made. Depending on the situation, this could be your phone, email, or even your finances. The goal is simply to keep you from making sinful decisions and to find additional support if you are being tempted.
3 Reasons Accountability Fails
1. You Are Not Honest
While you may think accountability begins with others, it begins with you. Accountability only works to the degree you will be honest. The entire house of accountability is built on the foundation of how truthful you will be to those who are there to help you. If you purposely keep secrets, then accountability does not work. So, for it to work, it must begin with you.
A good friend of mine and I were helping each other manage our diets because we wanted to eat heathier. In our conversations with each other, if we didn’t truthfully disclose what we ate, then we rendered the accountability ineffective. This is the fatal flaw in any accountability situation.
2. You Surround Yourself with the Wrong People
For accountability to work, you must ensure you position the right people around you. If the surrounding people will not be honest with you and tell you the truth, then they are worthless regarding accountability. If you really want to be held accountable, you need people who will tell you the truth, no matter what – even when you don’t like it or don’t want to hear it.
I have read the stories of many leaders who surround themselves with yes people who only rubber stamp everything they do. These kinds of people add no value to your life. When these are the people leaders surround themselves with, is it any wonder that the leaders fell in that situation? Honestly, it was only a matter of time.
3. You Control What You Will Reveal
Another fatal flaw in accountability is that most often, you have control over what you reveal. For people who are wrestling with a specific sin or temptation, they can find creative ways to cover their tracks. When they do this, they eliminate the value of accountability in their life.
How Do You Solve These Problems to Make Accountability Work for You?
You must have complete transparency.
If you really want to be accountable, then you must allow people to see everything, warts and all. This is not to shame or embarrass you, but to help you stay on track.
The process must exist outside of your control.
For this to work best, this process of transparency cannot be within your control. If you control it, then you go back to the problem of only revealing what you want people to see. However, if you know someone can see everything, that alone makes you think twice before making a sinful choice. That moment of rethinking before you do something is exactly what accountability is supposed to do.
There is a highway near our house where the speed limit is 65 MPH. This road is smooth and well maintained and people usually go well above 65 (obviously I am talking about all the other drivers out there, not me). There are two places on this highway where the frequent drivers know state troopers will be. Sometimes they are there and sometimes they aren’t. However, just knowing they could be there causes the drivers to slow down whenever they reach that part of the highway. This is accountability at work. Knowing that someone else will see the choices you make will hopefully cause you to make better choices.
You must surrender to the process.
As good as accountability can be, again, you are the central figure in whether it will work. You must choose to surrender to the process and give someone else the right to ask you the tough questions. If that is not part of the process, then your accountability structure is nothing more than a sham and it will fail.
Some Last Thoughts on Accountability
You should be accountable to people you trust with your life and life’s struggles. Accountability does not mean you don’t have struggles or face temptations. It means you have a mechanism in place that will help you overcome them. When you have the right people around you, they won’t judge your struggle, but will walk with you through it. They are there to have your back in the areas you may be vulnerable, so you don’t fall into the temptation. Their job is not to enable you and cover your sin; their job is to support you so you don’t give into sin. If your accountability partners are enabling your sin, then they are not helping you at all. If you surround yourself with these kinds of people, it is only a matter of time before you fall.
When you sum up the conversation on accountability, it all comes back to you. It relies on your integrity, your honesty, and your willingness to submit to the process. If you remove these things, then you can have the right people and the right system in place, but if you don’t have the right heart, then accountability is going to fail.
I guess the summary is not that accountability doesn’t work. Better said is that accountability works in your life only if you want it to.
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Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Sanja Radin
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