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In a few weeks, my husband and I will celebrate 32 years of marriage. It’s a milestone that neither of us takes for granted as we look back at the long journey that got us here. Like any couple, we went through financial hardships, medical emergencies, lack of communication, and a whole host of other things that could have derailed us, yet here we are decades later still blessed with a strong and healthy marriage.
There are a few reasons why my husband and I get along so well, and it’s my hope that by sharing some of them, you’ll be encouraged in your own marriage. The Bible says that nothing is impossible with Christ. After all, He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and when couples walk in His ways, marriage can become the beautiful union God intended.
Here are 3 reasons my husband and I get along so well:
1. We Let Things Go (Often!)
I can’t tell you how often I have an internal dialogue going on – a dialogue that says, should you speak up about this, or let it go? More often than not, the Holy Spirit prompts me to let it go and move on. This has been one of the best things for my marriage, and I encourage you to try it as well.
You see, I’ve learned (the hard way) that most things aren’t worth getting upset over. The socks on the floor, the un-rinsed dishes in the sink, or the empty gas tank aren’t issues that make or break a relationship. It’s okay to ask our spouses to take care of these things, but it’s not okay to let resentment build up over them.
Most of the time, the superficial issues we let bother us are deeper problems that need to be addressed. This can include unresolved anger, unfair blame, lack of communication, or a heart of unforgiveness.
Here are more practical examples of things we can let go of for the sake of peace:
Small annoyances: Again, the dishes piled on the counter and the toothpaste tube squeezed in the middle are annoyances, but they shouldn’t dictate how we get along with our spouses. Instead of nagging, we can choose to let it go and focus on more important matters.
Communication styles: Most couples have different ways of expressing their needs and concerns. My husband is very quiet, and I sometimes wish he would speak up. On the other hand, I tend to say things I later regret and have to keep a tight guard on my tongue. By recognizing our differences in communication styles, we’re able to offer one another grace and ultimately get along.
Personal quirks: It’s likely your spouse has certain quirks or habits that bother you, and you can be certain you have things that bother them. But once you realize they are harmless and refuse to let them impact your relationship, you’ll cultivate more peace.
When you let things go (often), you’ll be surprised at how much lighter the atmosphere becomes in your relationship. The thing is, letting go means letting go – not keeping a record of wrongs or harboring bitterness. Pray for God’s guidance in identifying things that truly need to be discussed and let the rest go.
2. We Enjoy Being Together
Finding something you enjoy doing together is one of the best ways to get along. Recently, my husband bought us kayaks. This was totally unexpected and out of the ordinary for us, but it has proven to be a fun outing we both enjoy. Who knew?
Spending quality time with your spouse doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive; it can be as simple as taking a walk in the evening or dancing in the living room. Whatever it is you both enjoy, be intentional about making it happen. Focus on minimizing media time and finding tangible ways to get along.
Here are a few ideas to try:
Cooking together: Set aside a specific night every week to cook a new recipe or prepare a favorite meal together. This can be a fun and creative way to bring you closer as a couple, while also saving money.
Gardening: If you have a yard or even a small balcony, gardening can be a great way to spend time together. Get creative and plant a salad or herb garden. There are also hydroponic options for those who don’t have a lot of space.
Game night: Couples can have a blast playing cards or board games. This not only provides entertainment but also stimulates healthy competition and communication between partners. Turn off the TV once in a while and pull out the old Scrabble board.
Hiking or nature walks: Explore nearby trails or nature reserves by going for a leisurely walk. This is a great way to stay active, enjoy the outdoors, and have meaningful conversations. Spending time in God’s creation is always rewarding, and enjoying nature together will only enhance your relationship.
When you truly enjoy your spouse, you’ll find that common issues are far easier to navigate. Don’t let different preferences build a wedge between you. Find something you enjoy doing together and be intentional to make it happen.
3. We Live by Two Rules
It wasn’t long after we were married that my husband and I decided we wanted to live by a 2-rule marriage. These “rules” come from the Bible and have proven to be the single-most important reason we get along so well.
Rule #1: My husband purposes to love me as Christ loves the church. Ephesians 5:25 says it this way: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
Rule #2: I purpose to submit to my husband as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”
Ultimately, we both try to live according to Ephesians 5:21 which says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” By doing this, we find ourselves agreeing with one another far more than disagreeing. With God’s help, we’re able to set aside selfish desires and seek the interests of one another. Of course, we don’t live out these Scriptures perfectly, but we do live them out intentionally.
My prayer is that you’ve been encouraged by this post – so much so – you’ll plan a date night with your spouse to discuss ways to put some (or all) of these things into practice. Marriage isn’t always easy, but with God’s help and a bit of intentionality, you can get along and enjoy marriage the way God intended.
A Prayer to Get Along in Marriage
Father, we invite Your Holy Spirit to be at the center of our marriage. Help us rely on You for wisdom, strength, and discernment in every decision we make. Guide our steps, align our desires, and bring unity to our thoughts, dreams, and ambitions.
Lord, we ask that You fill our home with an atmosphere of love, joy, and peace. May our friends and family witness the transformation that Your presence brings to our relationship. Let our marriage be a testimony of Your faithfulness, grace, and mercy, shining a light for others to see.
Thank you, Lord, for the beauty of Your design for marriage. May our union be a reflection of Christ’s love for the Church, selfless and sacrificial. Help us to serve each other with humility, lifting each other’s burdens, and seeking the best interests of our spouse above our own.
We surrender our marriage into Your hands. Help us continually seek Your will and submit to Your guidance. Empower us to persevere through the challenges and celebrate the joys together, knowing that we are stronger when we are united. In Jesus’ name, we pray, amen.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/XiXinXing
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