3 Things Your Wife Needs from You Emotionally

Here’s the truth – you could buy your wife the most luxurious car on God’s green earth and still have her cry herself to sleep on that phenomenal night. Why? Because your wife desperately yearns to spend time with you. This is a void that material gifts cannot fill. Wives love to spend time in intimate conversations with their husbands. They want to share their innermost feelings with the man they love. When this happens, they feel loved and cared for. On the flip side, when the husband is unwilling or unavailable to indulge them, they feel sad and dejected. Doubts start trickling in. “Does he love me? Am I even important to him? If I were, he would be available for me!” The sense of intimacy they once felt so strongly goes out the window.  

Willard F. Harley, Jr., author of His Needs, Her Needs, urges that spouses need to squeeze in fifteen hours each week in intimate conversation. Now guys, before you go up in arms against that tally, please hear me out for a minute. How did you woo your lady while courting her? We are sure you spent inordinate amounts of time engrossed in intimate talks with her. You wanted to know her, so you asked her questions, listening intently and giving her undivided attention. 

You squeezed in time each day to check in on her, seeking to know what was on her mind and how she was feeling. You met her need for intimate conversation. Sooner or later, she couldn’t help herself. She fell for you and married you with the hope that you would always be there to talk with and listen to her. 

Enter marriage. The sad reality is that many husbands tend to gloss over their wives’ need for intimate conversations after marriage. That’s because men do not have a dire need for intimate discussions. They are okay mumbling and grunting unintelligible statements to their wives. This leaves their wives in utter shock. The rug has been pulled ruthlessly from under their feet—disillusionment and bitterness kick in.

So men, even if chit-chat is not your cup of tea, consider taking one for the team. You have done it before (during courtship), so we are certain that you can do it again. Remember, Christ calls husbands to a sacrificial kind of love toward their wives. 

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)