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This time of the year is the worst for any man or woman who’s going through marriage or relationship challenges.
You want to be happy at the holidays but when your relationship (or any relationship) no longer has the love, passion and connection you want–and you’re not sure how to get it back…
What do you do?
The worst holiday season Otto ever had was the year that he left his ex-wife and as a result–his son who was 8 years old at the time.
Just about all Otto did that holiday season was cry.
He’d see a TV commercial for toys and he’d think of his son who he’d spent the previous 8 Christmas mornings with…
And he’d break down.
He’d try to make holiday plans and it just wasn’t the same.
Today, Otto’s son is 33 and the two of them talk (or text) several times a week and have a great relationship.
They share a lot with each other and both totally love the Cincinnati Reds major league baseball team and of course, “The Boss” Bruce Springsteen.
Even though leaving his previous marriage was a very painful part of Otto’s life, there’s a place that’s far worse than all that…
Limbo.
Limbo is when you’re in state of uncertainty, when you don’t know what to do about something important and you’re stuck or frozen.
The reason you get stuck about ANY decision is that you associate emotional (or possibly some other kind of) pain to both staying where you are and to what you think things would be like if you made a new decision.
So, you do nothing and what you’re left with by default is pain.
This is where many people find themselves in their relationships and lives this holiday season.
They’re experiencing pain by being where they are and feel like there’ll be nothing but pain if they leave.
So they essentially get frozen.
Stuck.
If you’re someone who is experiencing holiday relationship challenges, here’s the best advice we could give you…
Decide to do something about it.
Do NOT decide to stay stuck.
We’re not saying that you or anyone should leave their relationship or marriage to find love and happiness.
This requires careful consideration and making a conscious effort to revitalize your love before you do.
What we are saying is that limbo is a dangerous place to live in because in not taking steps to make your life and relationship better, you ARE making a choice–and a very painful one.
So what do you do?
When we work with people in our coaching sessions, more often than not, we hear this…
“I just don’t know what to do to make things better. I’ve tried everything.”
What we lovingly can say is that in most cases, they have tried the same things that have not worked over and over and seem shocked that their lives haven’t improved.
If you’re in limbo about your relationship this holiday season or want to recapture the love and connection you once had in any relationship…
Here are 3 ways to get unstuck from holiday relationship challenges and move forward toward what you want…
1. Put the facts on paper
Get clear about what you really want and what’s most important to you. You have to know what you want before you can move toward it.
If you need help sorting that out, get our program “Should You Stay or Should You Go?” that’s one of best resources available anywhere to help you make this decision.
If you need more support, work with us personally by phone or Zoom and we’ll help you find out what’s really in your heart to do.
You can have one of us help you sort through your relationship challenges personally in person, by phone or Zoom.
To get our personal help with your relationship, send us an email here…
The next thing we’ll suggest to help you move out of “limbo” is…
2. Try one new idea to move toward what you want
If communication with your partner is a problem that is holding you back from the love you want, learn some new ways to listen and speak to each other.
We came out with our “Magic Relationship Words” awhile ago and these tips are some very easy ways for you to try one new thing right now to bring some openness and ease into your relationship.
The key is making sure you communicate in ways that pull your partner closer to you instead of ways that push them further away.
Next…
3. Focus your attention in looking at what’s changing for the better
So often, we focus so much of our attention on what’s lacking that we lose sight of what’s working and what we love about the other person.
We lose track of what we love about ourselves.
If you’re in an abusive situation or one in which cheating is going on, we don’t mean turning a blind eye to what’s happening in front of you–and what you must deal with.
We’re talking about changing your focus and see if your partner or the other person starts to come toward you in ways that you want–or not.
If you’re in limbo, decide today to get unstuck so you can move out of it to greater happiness and love.
Because the truth is that there is life after limbo–and it can be even better than you every realized.
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