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“Where are you?” God asked Adam in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:9). That question, simple in delivery, but complex in answering. God was not looking for a physical location, rather the status of Adam’s heart. Today, I ask the same question – where are you? With the outpouring of crime, hatred, and evil every day on the news, our worlds can easily grow dark. Today, that bad news is accompanied by illness hysteria and political divisions that run deeper than a permanent crick in your neck. As our worlds grow dark, we seem to sit in the darkness, alone.
Are you lonely? Chances are, even if you answered no, the sensation of being lonely is one you understand. Most of us have had the feeling at one time or another. Loneliness is quite the experience, the feeling of being by yourself, even if surrounded by a group of people. And loneliness doesn’t just disconnect us from others; we imagine ourselves separate from God.
Loneliness is surely a part of the human experience, but Jesus grants us a biblical hope to ease our suffering. Here are three truths we should all know about loneliness:
1. Loneliness is about expectations. We feel the bane of loneliness when we desire something that we don’t have, attention, a friend, a spouse.
2. Loneliness is untrue. God was not lying when He promised to be with us wherever we go (Deuteronomy 31:6). We feel lonely, but the feeling is not reality.
3. Loneliness has a cure. Connection is seemingly the antidote to loneliness, but we can’t always connect with what we desire – like finding someone to marry. What we can do, no matter what we do or don’t have, is give thanks. When loneliness says, “I don’t have this person that I want in my life,” gratitude responds, “But I do have other people I enjoy. Thank you, God.”
If you are struggling with loneliness today, don’t be dismayed. You are not alone. There are plenty of other Christians who too struggle with this emotion. What we can all do for one another is offer encouragement, especially through prayer. Here are 4 prayers for the lonely hearts:
1. Loneliness with Family
“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord cares for me.” (Psalm 27:10)
Heavenly Father,
My life is before you. All of my highs and all of my lows. Right now, today, I find myself in yet another low moment, one that seems unending. This time involving my family.
I can’t help but wonder how we became so different over the years. As much as I want to spend time with them, we fail to connect. When we do see each other, we are at odds. The truth is so clear, I don’t fit in with them. There is plenty of tension. Now, they hardly want to see me. The warm sense of family we once had is gone. Replaced with a cold disconnect. Loneliness. At least for me.
I tried to conform to them, to people please, only to realize I wasn’t staying true to you. So, what do I do? I want to love them, be close to them, spend time together, but our relationship keeps failing. And I don’t want to put them above my relationship with you. Why do I even still want a relationship with them when they continue to abandon me?
Hear my prayer, Lord, and answer me. I am lost and confused. My soul is dejected within me. If there is a way out of this loneliness, please direct me. If there is a way to honor them while still staying true to you, show me. The loneliness I have with family, though overwhelming, does not have to define me. Does not have to ruin me. So, I come to you now with this desperate plea. Please heal, guide, and nurture me Lord.
Amen.
2. Loneliness within Marriage
“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her” (Ephesians 5:24-25).
Dear God,
Who knew marriage would be so difficult? All the time, effort, and energy needed to keep a relationship alive, I didn’t know. And now I feel like I’m running out of everything. I’m out of ideas on how to fix my marriage. The loneliness felt day to day is too intense to describe. Or maybe my emotions just overwhelm me.
Maybe I’ve found myself in a rough patch, forgetting the promises I made to my spouse, forgetting the promises I made to you. What I do know is the loneliness in my heart. I feel like I’m in an empty marriage, with someone who doesn’t exist. Someone who doesn’t think I exist.
What do I do, God? Can you show me the way? Can you guide us back to a fulfilling marriage, one where we know our presence is noticed and valued? Can you make loneliness a feeling of the past and connection our destined future?
Consider me and answer, Lord. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.
3. Loneliness with Dating
“Those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy.” (Psalm 126:5)
Father in Heaven,
For awhile now, I’ve been feeling lonely, overlooked by most on the dating scene. Most adults used to be married at my age. Today, I don’t know if I’ll ever marry. I want to have hope, but that seems to dwindle when every rare date turns sour. Is there a way out? A solution? A way to end this cycle of loneliness?
If so, which way should I go, Lord? Is there a particular place you want me to meet my significant other? Is having a spouse part of the future you want for me?
Please make your will for my life known. And as I wait, please help me to find comfort in you while sorting through the uncertainty. Loneliness is what I feel today, but the sun always rises again.
Thank you for that, Lord. Amen.
4. Loneliness with Friendships
“One with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24)
God,
I’ve made the mistake time and time again, of comparing myself to others. I see those with friends, cliques, companions, and wonder why not me?
In my wondering, the sense of loneliness creeps in. Then doubt emerges, and I wonder if you value others more than me. Please forgive me for these thoughts.
My prayer is that you would help turn this loneliness into an opportunity to serve. I pray that when I’m tempted to focus on what I don’t have, that you would remind me of what I do. And instead of focusing on what others have, show me what they do not, so that I may serve.
And as I serve others, may I use that as an occasion to serve you.
I do pray for new and long-lasting friendships, but I also pray to become the person to make such things possible.
Amen.
Related Resource: Listen to our FREE podcast, Reframed: The Power of Perspective. In each episode, Carley provides practical techniques for identifying and reframing negative thinking patterns. Listen to an episode below, and check out all of our episodes on LifeAudio.com.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/eternalcreative
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