God disciplines us, and we should not despise that discipline because, in love, He disciplines us for our good (Proverbs 3:11-13; Hebrews 12:5-11). In the Old Testament, God included the story of Eli, a Jewish priest, who discovered what happens when a father, with mistaken or mushy sentimentality, fails to discipline his children (1 Samuel 2:27-36).
Fathers are supposed to correct their children, but not harshly. Discipline must never be confused with anger. Fathers must wisely control their attitudes and responses as they discipline so they do not exasperate their children, provoking them to anger (Ephesians 6:4). Godly discipline shows itself in loving, compassionate correction with encouragement.
Correction is a “biggie” for dads, and it warrants further explanation. A helpful five-step pattern for good discipline is found in Genesis 3, which shows how God handled the first couple’s sin.
1. It begins in verse 9 with “Where are you?” Offenses can erect walls of anger or shame. For concerned correction, always look for the child if he or she is hiding.
2. In verses 11-13, God asked, “What is this you have done?” More information might be needed, but be careful not to phrase questions in ways that might encourage the child to lie.
3. In verses 14-19, God says, “Because you have done this…” God spelled out the consequences for their sin. State consequence clearly, specifically, and calmly.
4. In verse 21, we see that “God made garments.” Why? Once their eyes were open to sin, God had to kill an innocent animal to cover their nakedness. Consequences should always reflect a cause-and-effect approach. Again, be compassionate, not harsh.
5. In verses 22-24, God followed through with the consequences. Verse 23 begins, “So the lord God banished…” God’s action has been described as a “severe mercy” because He loved the first couple too much to let them continue in sin anywhere near the Tree of Life where, if they ate of it, they would remain in their sins forever.
Don’t be hesitant to follow through with age-appropriate consequences that will help the child learn to avoid sin.
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