Maybe you’ve just started dating a new guy, and romance is blooming, or you’ve been with your partner for a few months (or even years). No matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, there’s always more to discover about each other, particularly when it comes to your sex life. That’s why I’ve created this ultimate list of sexy questions to ask your boyfriend so you can communicate about your boundaries, needs, and desires in a safe, playful space.
“Talking about what you want is just the start. If you dig a little deeper and talk about your fantasies, desires, fears, vulnerabilities, concerns, emotions, and more, you’ll develop a deeper understanding of one another—which leads to a more meaningful connection and hotter, more fulfilling sex.”—Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., sexologist and relationship expert.
Sex means something different to all of us. Unfortunately, we live in a culture that doesn’t talk about sex enough—at least not in a healthy, positive way. It takes time and conscious effort to figure out what values and benefits you both attach to sex, but once you know, you can communicate about it and figure out how to ensure both your desires are fulfilled. So although some of these questions will require your man to be vulnerable (and you if you’re taking it in turns to answer the same question), this is a crucial step in any relationship. Without vulnerability, you cannot build real intimacy or trust—so go into this with the intention of being completely honest with each other.
If you’ve ever wondered what makes your man tick and whether he’s fully opening up to you about his sexual desires, this list of sexy questions is a great place to start. After that, let the conversation flow where it wants to.
Here are 142 sexy questions to ask your boyfriend
Flirty questions to ask your boyfriend
1. Which do you prefer: cuddling or kissing?
2. What do you usually wear to bed? Pajamas, boxers, or nothing?
3. Have you ever flashed anyone accidentally?
4. I’ve had the most stressful day—how would you help me relax?
5. How does it feel when I touch you?
6. How do you like to be touched? Show me.
7. What’s your favorite position?
8. How long do you like to spend on foreplay?
9. What does foreplay look like to you?
10. How do you feel about music in the bedroom?
11. What one thing could I do right now that would instantly turn you on?
12. What’s your favorite kind of lingerie for a woman?
13. Is there a song that always gets you in the mood?
14. Do you like it when a woman makes the first move?
15. Do you ever feel nervous around me?
16. What is the first physical feature you noticed of mine?
17. Have you ever just wanted to tear someone’s clothes off? Why didn’t you?
18. Do you have any embarrassing sex stories you want to share?
19. Which do you prefer: lingerie or nothing?
20. Have you ever had a crush on someone that was totally inappropriate?
21. Have you ever sent a nude picture of yourself to anyone?
22. Do you want to guess what I’m wearing underneath this?
23. How do you feel about mirrors in the bedroom?
24. Would you ever go skinny dipping with me?
25. How do you feel about laughing in the bedroom?
26. What is your favorite place to touch me?
27. How often do you actually think about sex in a day?
28. What do you love most about my body?
29. How do you feel when another guy checks me out?
30. What do you enjoy more: giving or receiving?
31. How do you feel about using food as foreplay?
32. What do you usually find sexually attractive in a woman?
33. Do you have any hidden tattoos that you would have to take your clothes off for me to see?
34. What’s the sexiest place for a woman to have a tattoo on her body?
35. Have you ever fallen asleep in the middle of sex?
36. What’s a guaranteed way to turn you on?
37. How would you describe my body in just three words?
38. What’s your ultimate turn-on?
39. Would you say you have a high sex drive?
40. How smooth would you say you are with women on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being TERRIBLE, 10 being a ROCKSTAR)?
41. When did you last get turned on in public?
42. What would you do if we were out on a date and I told you I wanted to have sex?
43. Which do you prefer: rough or romantic?
44. What’s the best part of foreplay?
45. Are you more of a lights on or lights off kind of guy?
46. What would you do if I answered the door to you naked?
47. Is there anything you wish women knew about men when it comes to sex?
48. What secret have you been wanting to tell me but haven’t yet?
Ready for some more sexy questions to ask your boyfriend tonight?
Romantic questions to ask him
49. What does romance mean to you?
50. Would you consider yourself a romantic?
51. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for a woman?
52. What does your perfect date night look like?
53. Is there one memorable kiss you’ve had that stands out as mind-blowing?
54. What do you think women want?
55. How important do you think romance is in a relationship?
56. What about me were you first attracted to?
57. What’s your favorite place for me to touch you?
58. How does it feel when we kiss?
59. What was your favorite part of our first kiss?
60. What do my lips taste like to you?
61. Is there a song that always reminds you of me?
62. What’s the most romantic thing a woman has ever done for you?
63. Do you know what your love language is?
64. Do you know what my love language is?
65. What do you remember most about the first time we met?
66. What would a romantic vacation look like to you?
67. Have you ever read an erotic novel?
68. What do you love most about me?
69. What’s the most sensual experience you’ve ever had?
70. How would you describe our love in one word?
71. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve seen anyone do (it can be in real life or fictional)?
72. When do I look the most beautiful to you?
73. If I asked you to give me a massage, which part of my body would you touch first?
74. What do you think is the most romantic movie of all time?
75. Is there a sexy or romantic scene from a movie you’ve always wanted to recreate?
76. What’s your all-time favorite love song?
77. What’s your favorite place to be kissed?
78. Is there a particular scent that always gets you in the mood?
79. Which couple do you think set a great example for a relationship (it can be someone you know or a celeb couple)?
80. Has anyone ever Notebooked you?
81. Have you ever serenaded a woman?
82. It’s date night—would you rather have a cozy romantic meal at home or go out to a fancy restaurant?
83. What’s your favorite restaurant to go to with me for date night?
84. What makes you feel the most loved?
85. Is there anything non-sexual that turns you on?
86. When did you last think about me?
87. Have you ever had a cute dream about me?
88. What’s your favorite outfit of mine?
89. What’s the most sensual place on your body?
90. Have you ever bought lingerie for a woman?
91. You’re planning a romantic weekend away for us—where would you take me, and what would we do?
92. When did you know you loved me?
93. When we wake up together in the morning, what do you first think of when you see me?
Sexy questions to ask your boyfriend
94. What’s better: kissing or sex?
95. What does sex mean to you?
96. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being shy, 10 being super confident), how would you rate yourself when it comes to the bedroom?
97. What’s your signature move in bed?
98. What’s one thing you want us to try together that we haven’t yet?
99. Do you have a favorite part of sex? If so, tell me about it.
100. Is there a difference between having sex and making love?
101. What fictional character would you say you’re most like in the bedroom (e.g., James Bond, Magic Mike, Noah Calhoun, Johnny English)?
102. What’s the shortest time you’ve ever taken to orgasm?
103. Do you like eye contact during sex?
104. What’s the strangest place you’ve ever had sex?
105. Do you have a favorite time of day you most like to have sex?
106. What does amazing sex look and feel like to you?
107. Send a sexy picture of yourself with the caption, “What do you want to do to me right now?”
108. What do you look for in a sexual partner?
109. Do you have any worries when it comes to sex?
110. What was your first time like?
111. How do you feel about sexting?
112. What one sexual experience of ours would you love to re-live?
113. What would you do if I wanted to have sex right now?
114. Have you ever had sex blindfolded?
115. Do you enjoy watching me self-pleasure?
116. Are you satisfied with our current sex life?
117. What do you think is the best thing about our sex life?
118. Do you like using toys? If so, what’s your favorite one?
119. What would you love to see me wear to bed tonight?
120. What’s the longest time you’ve ever taken to orgasm?
121. In an ideal world, how often would you like us to be having sex?
122. When it comes to our sex life, what do you think we need to work on most?
123. Sexy questions to ask your boyfriend while texting: “I’m in bed waiting for you. How fast can you get here?”
124. What’s your favorite sex position with me?
125. How kinky are you on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being not at all, 10 being the kink king)?
126. Have you ever had shower sex?
127. Would you ever have sex in an airplane?
128. What’s one place you’ve always wanted to have sex but haven’t yet?
129. Do you watch porn? If so, how often?
130. How do you feel about talking dirty?
131. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had, and why was it so good?
132. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about me?
133. Can I read you a sexy story tonight?
134. How adventurous are you in bed?
135. Since you first had sex, what’s the longest you’ve ever gone without it?
136. How would you make me orgasm?
137. How important is sex in a relationship for you?
138. On a scale of 1 to 10, how loud or quiet are you in bed (1 being quiet, 10 being loud)?
139. What position would you like us to try that we haven’t yet?
140. Send a text: “Can we try (X) when you get home?”
141. What’s your favorite sexual memory of us?
142. Which do you prefer: a quickie or a marathon?
I hope this list has given you plenty of ideas when it comes to sexy questions you can ask your boyfriend, no matter where you are in your relationship. Cherry-pick the most applicable ones from this list, go straight for the juiciest ones, or use these as inspiration to come up with your own questions—it’s up to you. No matter what you decide, these questions will help you discover more about each other’s sexual blueprints, show you whether you’re compatible in the long run, and help you build another layer of intimacy in your relationship.
Ready to give them a try?
What’s your favorite sexy question to ask a boyfriend (or someone you’re dating)? Drop it in the comments below.
PS. If you’re ready to start making men pursue you for love, then join me on this free webinar to discover the 3 steps to building emotional attraction – Register here to get started (it’s 100% free).