Many singles ask me why I don’t add matchmaking to my profession; as a Dating Coach, shouldn’t I be someone who can help connect two singles? The reality is, despite similarities of both helping singles find love, the skill sets and job descriptions for dating coaches and matchmakers are very different. So to help outline those who wonder which path is right for them, I have decided to lay out some of the biggest questions.
One of the most significant differences between matchmakers and relationship coaches can be the approach and expectations clients may have.
GOAL SETTING VS. MATCH EXPECTATION
One of the main differences between Dating Coaching and Matchmaking is expectations. When most people hire a Matchmaker, there is an expectation that this person will find and vet quality partners for the client that will hopefully lead to love.
As their title elicits, a matchmaker will gather as much information about the type of person you like and do their diligence to make matches. For the person who hires one, anything short of a match will prove very disappointing.
Dating coaching is different in that the coach works with a client to focus on self-reflection, understanding one’s blind spots, and setting the intention and goal to develop healthy relationship skills to solve the problem.
The goal is to prepare the client with overall dating and relationship skills. So when they meet the right opportunity to enter the world, they can make a quality connection that will lead to lasting love.
Some clients come in with lots of dating experience, and their goal is to make minor improvements in whatever areas need it. Other clients come to a dating coach with limited or no dating skills and may even come with some unresolved relationship challenges that they need more awareness around before making changes.
The goals are more about improving themselves to offer their best selves to the dating world because they know like attracts like.
Most matchmakers ask for an up-front fee and guarantee a certain number of matches. For example, X matches in X months for X dollars. In general, the investment can range between $2000-$10,000, which is pretty close to dating coaching rates. Matchmaking can pose a relatively large financial risk to the dating process for those who don’t have the spending money.
Sure, you may find love in match #1, but if you don’t find love after the six months, you now are no better off than you were before, and you are out all that money. Dating Coaching also is set up in the X coaching sessions for X months for X dollars.
The thing about dating coaching is that you gain pertinent dating and relationship skills the entire time you date for your investment. That means if you don’t find love by the end of a six-month coaching program, you will have gained valuable tools that will be with you for the rest of your life. In short, your money goes back to you; with the matchmaker, if you haven’t gotten any results you wanted, you may lose out entirely.
Some schools offer matchmaking certificates, but the educational process is much more about the process of matchmaking rather than developing dating/relationship skills, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution skills.
Many coaches these days have invested in their training to earn their certifications, this is important as we are working with people’s lives and want our clients to have the best experience. I personally graduated from the Relationship Coaching Institute (RCI), which focuses on teaching students relationships skills, mindfulness tools, and science-based paradigms to help support their clients to have the most success.
My path took many years to become a Master Certified Relationship Coach; the education was based not only on an intuition factor but also on essential tools and structure put in place to support a client’s success. When picking someone to work with, it may be necessary to find out a dating coach’s background and education around how they can support you.
In the end, when it comes to finding love, your path should begin and end with what you feel most comfortable with. For some, matchmaking may prove the best use of your time and money, while others may want to go down the path of coaching. I personally believe both services compliment each other well.
Whatever you do, make sure you do your research on whom you are dealing with and understand clearly the path you are about to take. Love is something that we all deserve, and it does not matter how you found love as long as it is authentic, joyful, and long-lasting. If you are interested in working with me, I invite you to schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review here.