Why Insecurity Doesn’t Have To Kill A Relationship

Why Insecurity Doesn’t Have To Kill A Relationship


Stephen Hussey

There are two insidious demons that can poison a wonderful relationship: jealousy and insecurity.

When you’re jealous, you seem petty, small, mean, like someone too worried about what their neighbour is doing to focus on their own path.

When you’re insecure, you seem fragile, uncomfortable, uncertain, lacking in that relaxed sense of ease that makes other people look at you with the eyes of admiration.

But does that mean you have to be perfect to be in a relationship? Of course not. Both jealousy and insecurity are simply facts of being human.

What matters is:

  • How frequently these emotions show up
  • How much you let them knock you off course

Of course you’re going to feel moments where your body is out of shape. Or where you hate a pimple on your face. Or you feel you’re not smart enough. Or you get embarrassed.

That’s ok.

Because what really matters is how we respond to that feeling.

Do we close-up and never tell our partner how we feel? Do we turn it into a 24-hour tantrum where we berate ourselves and sour any good atmosphere?

If we take a moment, calmly and honestly explain what’s bothering us, and then refocus on self-love, suddenly our insecurities have less of a hold on us. They become an obstacle to work around, even a part of us that can be endearing if we truly own it and show our confidence in other ways.

The trick isn’t to never feel insecure. It’s to be confident enough in our value that in the grand scheme of our lives, our insecurities scarcely register.