Elizabeth Earnshaw on Creating a Secure Relationship

Elizabeth Earnshaw


They explore: 

  • How the pandemic impacted our relationships
  • The Gottman approach
  • The stages of a relationship
  • Balancing differing needs for intimacy
  • How to request, and give, repair.

They then close the episode with a fun game focused on debunking common relationship myths.

About our Guest: Elizabeth Earnshaw is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, the founder of A Better Life Therapy, and the author of I Want This to Work. You might also know her as @lizlistens on Instagram, where she’s helped countless people transform their relationships.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:45: Elizabeth’s background

5:30: How did the pandemic impact relationships?

7:30: Responding to stress in relationships

9:00: Co-regulation

11:15: Punishing others for our unpleasant emotions

13:45: The four stages of relationships

17:50: What to look for in a partner

20:10: The “Four Horsemen” of bad relationship communication

24:25: Key skills for navigating conflict together

27:00: How to request repair from your partner

34:10: Deciding if you should leave

37:45: Interdependence

41:30: Balancing differing needs for intimacy

46:30: The Instagram Meme Game: Common misconceptions about relationships

47:30: “Partners should share everything with each other”

50:30: “Your partner should be your ride or die”

52:15: “Never go to bed angry”

54:50: “My partner is my missing piece”

56:35: “If you can’t handle me on my worst day, you don’t deserve me on my best day”

1:02:05: Recap