Why you aren’t meeting good men online after 50!
There’s a good chance you never thought you’d be dating at this time in your life. Right?
Yet, here you are with the courage to look for love again as a single woman in her 50’s, 60’s or 70’s.
Remember when you first started on this journey?
It was exciting to see pictures of good-looking men who appeared to be fun and interesting.
You probably felt hopeful believing one of these men might be right for you.
After a couple of emails and a phone call or two, you decided to meet.
The first thing you noticed was you weren’t attracted to him.
He just didn’t feel like the man in the profile you read and spoke with online.
You were disappointed but you figured there were other men out there so you took a chance and met someone new.
Again, no connection.
This happens 5 times in a row and now you’re going from those initial feelings of excitement to total frustration and disappointment.
You may even be ready to quit thinking it’s just not worth the effort anymore.
After 5 bad dates, you can’t see putting yourself through this experience over and over again.
Doubt has kicked in and thoughts are taking over like . . . everyone lies online or no good men are on dating sites or I don’t care what I read, no one is ever who they say they are in their profile.
Filled with frustration, you’re ready to give up on your dreams of finding love again figuring your kids, friends, maybe even grandkids plus a busy life will fill you up instead.
You’re sad but feel there is no other choice.
You’ve had it with dating especially with online dating sites.
Sound familiar? I hear this story over and over again from women around the world.
But it doesn’t have to be this way!
The biggest reason women struggle with finding the right man especially online comes from the stories they tell themselves about who a man is based on his picture and his profile.
How many times have you looked at a handsome man and thought, he’s a good guy.
But in reality, is he?
Or maybe you’ve liked a man’s profession and you think he might be a perfect match based on what he does.
Or he likes to bike and so do you.
Wow, it’s amazing, you’ll have so much to share.
Qualities like these are called high-value qualities because they represent an idea of something important you want that a man must be or have to date you.
Based on the quality, you end up creating a story about a man and why he’s perfect for you.
Between talking and meeting you might daydream what it would be like living with this man.
Maybe it’s the two of you going bike riding or eating at your favorite brunch spot on Sundays.
Or going to parties with lots of your friends.
Or feeling everyone’s envy as you walk through the door with a very attractive man at your side.
In the meantime, you’re ignoring everything else about this man because the only thing you can see is this one high value quality he’s got and you’re making him into a good guy based on that.
You start thinking he feels so right.
At this point, you might even visualize the two of you walking down the aisle.
You imagine the dress you’ll wear and the music that will play as his eyes light up when he sees you.
Then reality hits and the two of you meet.
It doesn’t take you long to figure out that he’s nothing like you imagined him to be which makes you feel like he wasn’t honest in how he represented himself both online and over the phone.
What’s happened is a huge disconnect between reality and the story you made up about who he was based on his pictures and profile.
You leave the date disgusted feeling betrayed by yet another man who isn’t who he says he is.
So here’s the big secret for fixing this disconnection between the two of you.
Go on a date with no expectations other than to meet someone new and interesting.
This way you have no preconceived ideas about who he is.
With this new mindset, you’ll find that you can just sit back and enjoy the meet and greet for what it is, an opportunity to get to know someone new.
I promise if you do this on every date versus creating a fairy tale before you meet, dating will be a lot more fun and so much easier for you.
And you never know, he might not work out as a boyfriend or husband, but he might make a great male friend to hang out and have fun with.
Try this new way of dating and let me know how it works for you.
I AM CONFIDENTLY MEETING HIGH QUALITY MEN IN MY 50’s
I’m happy to share that by following all of Lisa’s advice and using her tools, I am confidently meeting high quality men and having fun in the process. She helped me learn how to be comfortable being myself and sharing my heart without worrying about changing to be successful in dating. Having my quality men template helps put me in a great mindset and know that I am the prize. Everything is much more fun now! Thank you Lisa for making this journey fun and so much easier.
Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog.
Copyright© 2021 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.