How Asking the Wrong Questions Can Keep You Stuck

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How Asking the Wrong Questions Can Keep You Stuck

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It was a very simple question Geri kept asking herself about her 13 year marriage…

“Are we going to make it?”

There can be a thousand answers about what “make it” means to Geri…

But if Geri wants to create something special in her marriage to Matt, she’s going to want to change the question she’s asking.

Here’s what she could be asking instead of “Are we going to make it?”

Much more empowering questions could be something like…

“How can we start creating something really special again?”

or

“How can I show up differently to make sure the next 12 months are better than the last 12 in our marriage?”

or

“What can I do to inspire him to be all in our marriage like I want him to be and be all in myself?”

These types of questions are about creation and possibilities.

And when you start asking them, new ideas can start to flow.

The truth is that most of us, including Geri and even Matt, are asking ourselves questions that take us away from the very thing we think we want…

Without even realizing it!

Geri’s question, “Are we going to make it?”, certainly reflects her fears and what it also does is this…

It shuts down any possibility of moving toward more love and connection which is what she wants.

Our thoughts are powerful creative generators and while we’re not suggesting artificially inserting happy thoughts onto a not-so-happy situation…

We are saying that if you want a situation to change, become aware of the questions you’re asking yourself that might be keeping you in a painful, holding pattern and ask more empowering ones…

Ones that will open the door to more of what you want.

One of the coaches we greatly admire is Steve Hardison and he said it so beautifully…

“Given the circumstances, what do I want to create?”

When you focus on this kind of thinking, you accept that there are circumstances that you maybe wish hadn’t happened…

And you are also looking toward opening to new possibilities.

You’re not stuck mulling over the past and that it shouldn’t have happened.

Yes, bad things happen in our lives that we wish hadn’t happened…

But we don’t have to stay stuck there.

When you’re not endlessly mulling over the past, there’s the space for a new solution to emerge or even how to take one step forward toward what you want.

So what questions could you be asking yourself or someone else that are keeping you stuck?

If you’d like help creating new questions, contact us here…

 

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